CHAPTER 1
Derbyshire, England
CLARK
Ihad never fully considered faking my own death, but it seemed like the most reasonable thing to do at the moment.
Removing my jacket in one swift motion, I tossed it to the dirt as I paced in a tight circle. Perhaps if I left a few shreds of my jacket on a rock in the stream I could make a convincing display.
I stopped to consider the idea.
Surely I could come up with something better. I would prefer that the news of my death not be accompanied by the notion that I was a poor enough swimmer to be swept away by such a shallow, slow-moving stream. Perhaps a bit of pig’s blood from the slaughterhouse spread across a rock? That could indicate a preceding injury at least.
I cringed, staring at the sharp corner of a rock at the edge of the stream.
How very gruesome.
The cold spring air raised gooseflesh over my arms, yet my skin felt hot. Under the cover of the trees, very little sunlighttouched the forest floor. Isolated as I was, I should have felt safe, but I knew it was only a matter of time before I would have to face the world again. I took a deep breath in an effort to calm my racing heart, but it was horribly ineffective. I kicked a fallen branch, sending it skittering into the stream. What other causes of death might I be able to fabricate? What other excuses might I find for beingherewhen I should have been?—
I stopped my thoughts short, guilt writhing in my stomach. I tried to swallow, but my throat was dry enough to sand an English oak. “Devil take it,” I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck. I envisioned what must have been happening at that very moment in the nearby church. By now, the guests would be making their premature departure, the church bells still and silent. That could only mean one of two things: Either the bride had changed her mind, or the groom had never arrived.
I was willing to wager it was the latter.
With a hard tug, I removed my cravat and dropped it atop my discarded jacket. Apparently I undressed myself when I was feeling distressed. Without the tightness of my cravat around my neck, I breathed easier. But only a little. I had only minutes—an hour if I was lucky—to continue hiding in the woods before I would have to emerge. Or disappear forever.
My pacing resumed, and suddenly I was estimating the time it would take to send a servant to the slaughterhouse for a pint of pig’s blood. Additional ideas trickled through my mind. If it weren’t so unreasonable, I could set my brother’s estate on fire and pretend to have been trapped inside. Colin would never know. I could also pretend to be feverish, or unconscious, or otherwise indisposed in my bedchamber. Perhaps I was eaten by a pack of dogs. My ideas continued to flow effortlessly, and never before had I felt so morbidly creative.
A twig snapped behind me, and I whirled around. My stomach turned at the sight of a face precisely like mine—thoughperhaps a touch less handsome. Upon further inspection, that might have had something to do with his enraged expression.
“I thought I’d find you here.” Colin didn’t move a muscle, his boot likely still covering that snapped twig. “Hiding from your responsibilities, as usual. Being a coward. Thinking of no one but yourself.”
Each insult stung, like three separate pricks of a thorn, but each was deserved. “That is a bit harsh, is it not?” I said with a weak laugh. It was a terrible habit of mine to make light of serious situations. On the contrary, it was Colin’s talent to make everything serious. In this case though, I could admit that he was right. What I had done was very serious, indeed.
Colin scoffed. “I would call it kind compared to how the bride’s family will approach the situation.” His eyes flashed with anger. “Do you even realize how this could ruin us all? Eloise and Sally might now be snubbed for their connection to you.”
I fell silent, staring at the dirt. It was true—I hadn’t considered my two younger sisters. I had been entirely selfish. “I couldn’t marry her.” The words scratched past my throat. “I awoke, I dressed, I stepped outside…and I ran for the woods.” My face felt flushed. “I don’t love her, Colin. In truth, I barely even like her.” I released a quick breath.
I hoped for a shred of empathy on his face, but all I saw was disgust. “Then why on earth would you propose to her? If your feelings were such, then you should have cut off the attachment weeks ago.”
Why had I not acted more quickly with faking my death? I hated being scolded by a man just twelve minutes my senior. Those twelve minutes carried more weight than Colin would ever fully understand. He had inherited our childhood estate, Eastmere Hall, and everything that came with it. Land, wealth, opportunity, connection—the freedom to marry without thinking of money. Though we looked identical, the momentanyone learned which of us was the heir, I was overlooked. No matter what I did, I had always been the lesser twin—even considering my much more tolerable personality.
I swallowed hard, picking up my jacket and shaking the dirt off of it. It would only make matters worse if I told Colin about Miss Merrick’s dowry. There was nothing he despised more than a fortune hunter. It was easy for rich people like Colin to despise fortune hunters. What would he do if he didn’t have a fortune of his own? He might have attempted the same thing I had, though he probably would have followed through with the ceremony. He was right. I was a coward.
“I will find Miss Merrick and apologize at once,” I said in a firm voice.
Colin laughed under his breath. “Her family will require more than that.”
“That’s all I can give.”
Colin’s frustration built on his face, his cheeks growing a darker shade of red. Was that what I looked like when I was flushed? I grimaced. Sometimes I didn’t appreciate having a living mirror in front of me. “Do you truly believe the embarrassment—the utter disrespect—that you caused Miss Merrick can be repaired with a simple apology?” he stammered. “Your name will be ruined.Minewill be ruined. Eloise’s and Sally’s. Eloise is meant to come out in society next year. Do you think the effects of this scandal will disappear by then?”
I sighed, my chest tightening with dread. “What can I do?”
“First, I invite you to reflect on how horribly selfish you are.”
“I understand. I know.” I tried to draw a breath, but my lungs felt heavy. “I have left one too many disasters for you to mend. I will find a way to repair this one on my own.”
“No, you won’t.” Colin strode forward, arms crossed over his chest. The sunlight caught his light blue eyes. “You can’t afford it.”
