Aire clocked his head to the side. “Why did you abandon the revels?”
He tried to obscure his disappointment, the effort mincing me to pieces. “I changed my mind.”
“Brazen Creature. You’ve never changed your mind a day in your life.”
“Bold statement, Noble Knight. But I’ll amend. I was out for a stroll and never actually planned on crashing your shindig.”
Contradicting that statement, his gaze traveled to my long brown hair falling in unruly crimps from under the hood, then took stock of the secondhand dress I’d saved up to buy. Chainmail gray and affordable wool instead of expensive silk. Hints of the dress billowed through the cloak’s vent, though I stifled the mortifying urge to close the gap. People called me lots of things, but let no one brand me as vain.
My disappearing act less than an hour ago wasn’t about fashion choices. While loitering near the castle courtyard, my gut had churned for a different reason, an evil realization stalling my tracks before entering the party.
Aire admired the ensemble. “That is a lovely dress.”
My upright chin faltered. I might as well be cooking on a rotisserie, the innocent compliment scalding my flesh from toes to tits. “Oh… Thank you.”
This flabbergasted reaction deepened Aire’s brotherly grin. “I’ll walk you to the door.”
“I don’t need—”
“No exceptions.”
“And leave your dripping fan club waiting?”
His virtuous eyes bloated to the size of platters. “Mywhatclub?”
Shit. I respected snark and kept a stash of one-liners in my arsenal, to the point where Poet and I challenged each otherto banter tournaments. Extra points if the dialogue involved profanities that made the eavesdropping nobles clutch their chastity belts.
But the kind of snark that implied jealousy? Not in front of this man.
Yet there it was. Proof that I had seen all those highborn women vying for Aire’s attention. Well-bred, well-groomed, and well-dressed. Arrested at the courtyard gate, I’d watched the scene unfold while my fingers suffocated the railing.
While competing for an artisanal taste of the First Knight’s cock, the contenders ticked all the boxes. Clad in expensive gowns, they had flapped their fans as if suffering from heat stroke and cooed whatever the fuck rich people cooed to eligible warriors who stabbed people for a living.
Aire’s face alone was enough to soak dozens of undergarments. Every citric pucker and feminine chortle had grated on my nerves like sixty-grit sandpaper.
So what if I’d wanted to ram the butt of my axe into their exfoliated faces? Likewise, I wasn’t about to metamorphose into a simpering lady to get his attention.
That aside, the visceral impulse to flirt-shame and put dents in their smiles had lasted only a second. Ultimately, Aspen of Autumn didn’t lower herself to that bar, much less disrespect her sex out of competition over a male who grunted more than his cranky stallion. While this soldier wasn’t a shallow peacock who prioritized wealth, a pretty face, and ass-kissing over brains and bravery, it also wouldn’t be fair to assume his admirers didn’t measure up.
I digressed. This wasn’t the reason I’d left.
Like the last celibate knight in recorded history, Aire fumbled for a response. “Every guest is appreciated. But your presence is just as meaningful.”
My impressionable pulse sprinted. Remorse and longing played a tug-of-war with my dignity.
Stop imagining he means it the way you want him to.
I shook my head. “You didn’t need me there.”
His eyebrows stapled together. “That’s not true.” Rose-tinted hope fluttered in my chest, an instant before he crushed it to smithereens. “You’re part of the clan. You’re one of us.”
An ally. A comrade.
Apart from Nicu, I was the youngest member of our fellowship. Seventeen to Aire’s twenty-seven. He was only looking out for me the way an older brother would.
“Foolish girl. He’s a grown man, a decade past your age, and a soldier of noble birth with a court full of admirers. In short, he’s out of your league.”
“He will never look at you in any other way.”
