‘I’m so sorry, Zoe.’ Quinn goes to reach out, but Zoe’s hand is rigid around the knife again, so she steps back with her hands raised.
‘No, you’re not. My ex-husband wasn’t sorry. You’re not sorry and neither was your mum and you, Gemma, you should have stayed and helped Jasmine. Quinn, I ran to your mum’s that night because one of the kids said they saw Jasmine at the den and you two were always hanging out there. I called the police and it was all, oh you again. Jasmine has run away before and weren’t social services involved? That was their favourite one. Still on the drugs, are you? Then they dismissed me with, “She’ll come back. She’s sixteen, maybe she’s cooling off somewhere with friends. We’ll inform social services.”’ Zoe frowns and sniffs. ‘I wasn’t perfect, I know that. I’d been off the drugs for a month but no one believed me. The withdrawal was a killer, but not being taken seriously when Jasmine was missing hurt more. We were just another problem family with a problem child. I tried and tried to get the police to look into Jasmine’s disappearance and they did when she failed to turn up after about a week. They found her diaries and she’d written how she was going to leave home and never come back…’ Zoe starts tearing up. ‘She wanted to leave but I knew she still loved me. I still loved her. She never would have gone this long without contacting me.’
‘So, you only came back here to find out what happened.’ Quinn seems calm now, unlike me. I’m shaking uncontrollably, and Morgan is too scared to make the tiniest of sounds.
‘Sid fell for me and I knew that would be my opportunity to come back to Clover Lane. I’d been watching you all. I knew where he drank and what he liked. I knew I couldn’t just hang around the streets, watching everyone on Clover Lane. The best thing for me to do after that was to become a part of the community. Moving in was the next step. It was so many years on, and I’d changed a lot so no one recognised me. Your mum had died, too, Quinn. That surprised me.’ She raises her brows. ‘I then had to work out how to access your lives. Being a cleaner and a cheap one at that gave me your keys’ – she looks my way – ‘when Quinn recommended me to your aunt, I knew I was totally in with the locals. It was my chance to start digging, see who knew what. I found nothing at yours, Quinn, and I knew you and Dorette were close. I started decluttering for Dorette. I was never allowed in the office or her snug; she only gave me a front door key.’
‘You’ve been coming and going as you please. You put the recording device in our home. You were listening to us?’ I can’t help but mention all this. She’s loosened her grip on Morgan. I can see we’re getting through to her.
Zoe shrugs. ‘Yes, I had to know if you were talking about Jasmine. I installed that when Dorette was there, but it was a waste of time because not many people ever visited. When you all moved in I carried on listening.’
‘You wrote the letters.’
She nods. ‘I sent the hamper, too, with added worms and the article. The worms were for Jasmine, for when you and Quinn sent her home in tears after throwing a worm at her.’ I see the pain etched across Zoe’s face. ‘That note, I knew I’d slipped up by using my own writing. I didn’t let that happen again.’
The note I asked Ethan to throw away. ‘You managed to get into the office?’
She nods. ‘Your husband isn’t careful with keys. He left them in the hallway when you moved in. I sneaked in, took them, went all the way to Whitby to get a set cut. When he came back I saw him looking for them in his pickup. When he went back inside, I threw them back on the hall tiles and left. I could come and go throughout the whole house then, apart from the apartment. He kept those separate.’
My fists ball up but I speak calmly. She still has the knife pointed at Morgan. ‘You could have killed Cora.’
‘You deserved everything, Gemma, after what you and your aunt put me through. I knew you’d reach her in time. I only left her in the balcony room to scare you.’
‘She fell off.’
Zoe’s mouth opens and she frowns. ‘I didn’t mean for that to happen. Is she…?’
‘She’s alive.’ The last thing I want her to think is that all is lost and that killing Morgan and us wouldn’t make a difference now. ‘Quinn caught her.’
I don’t know if the actual truth will help, but if I tell her what I know then she might let Morgan go. She will have closure. ‘I know where Jasmine is.’
Zoe stares. ‘Where?’
Morgan’s eyes are wide now, like she wants to know too.
‘Let Morgan go and I’ll tell you.’
Zoe scrunches her brows as if she’s thinking.
Quinn has started nervously biting her painted nails.
‘You’re lying.’ She looks at Quinn. ‘What aren’t you telling me?’
‘Nothing.’ Quinn places a hand over her mouth and mumbles something.
‘This isn’t the time for lies, Quinny. Yes, I know what you both called each other because Jasmine used to talk about you. I could never work out why you were both so mean to her. She probably did pick on you the day she saw you kissing, but it was only because of what you were both like with her. She liked you, Quinny, and you used to hang out with her when Gemma wasn’t around, but you’d ditch her like a rock as soon as the holidays started and Gemma visited.’
‘It’s not my fault. We were kids, having kid arguments. That’s all. I know my mother upset you with her words when you collapsed on our doorstep, looking for Jasmine,’ Quinn says, then she repeats what she mumbled before but clearer. ‘Mum said the same to me. “It’s all your fault. You were a bad mother. You bad, bad, mother.”’ Tears run down Quinn’s face. ‘My mum said that while I struggled to cope alone when Harry was a newborn. I freaked out at her the next day, went mad, shouting and crying. She crashed her car and died because she was shouting back at me.’ Quinn stares at Zoe. ‘You killed Dorette, didn’t you? You saw me leave, you… how could you?’
‘Quinn, please stop.’ Zoe is feeling the pain of Quinn’s words. Her hands are shaking, and I’m scared that Quinn will say too much and Morgan will get hurt. Morgan’s eyes are now closed.
Quinn dismisses me and I want to hit her. We can talk about this later, when I have Morgan safely away from Zoe.
Zoe continues. ‘I had the front door key. I went up to the balcony room and she was standing there angry and drunk. She had several pages of her notebook in her hand. She was about to put her lighter to them, and I snatched them off her. Once I saw Jasmine’s name on the paper, I asked her for the rest of the notebook, but she just laughed at me. I’d spent all day psyching myself up to talk to her about Jasmine, and when I got there, she swore at me and told me to get lost out of her house and how dare I just come in. She was struggling to stand she’d drunk so much. I couldn’t hold back any longer so I told her who I was, and she lashed out. I dodged her when she came at me… I didn’t mean for her to fall. I only wanted to talk to her and get the notebook so I could take it to the police.’
My stomach twinges again. Zoe drops the knife to her side and looks away. I can tell she’s fighting back the tears. I dart forward and knock Zoe sideways. Quinn leans in to help and our hands are grappling everywhere. Quinn steps on the torch, breaking it, and we’re in darkness. Diggerty whimpers as I accidentally tread on his tail. I manage to pull who I think is Morgan out of the way then I take my phone out of my pocket with the other hand. My fingers quiver as I light the way. I see blood, so much blood.
Fifty-Nine
