‘Yes, she told me her name was Jasmine and she ran away because her mum had a drug problem and her dad drank a lot.’
‘Okay. I’ve asked her before and she’s always refused to talk about it, saying it was an urban legend. Maybe she didn’t want to scare me.’
I shrug my shoulders. There’s not much I can say to that. As we reach the entrance to the woods, Harry lets Diggerty off his lead and the dog begins to run and sniff at tree trunks before peeing up as many as he can manage until he’s all dried out. I glance back, knowing that I’m not meant to be here. My parents will never find out.
I go to mention the notebook in Quinn’s bag. It’s odd that she had it. I can’t see it being given as a gift but what do I know? My stomach sinks a little. Maybe Dorette knew she was going to die or even take her own life. Either that notebook was a gift to Quinn or Quinn stole it.
Streetlamps lead the way through the woods and we follow them, until they run out. What looked like a beautiful snow-carpeted winter wonderland almost feels still and otherworldly. This is the last place that anyone ever saw Jasmine. A trace of her must lie here somewhere but no one has ever found it. I’m picturing a girl about my age, never going home one day, and I gasp.
Once again, I’m heading into the woods, only this time I’m keeping track of the twists and turns we make. There’s a slight path, barely noticeable. As long as the snow doesn’t fall too deeply, I should be able to follow it. I never want to feel lost again.
Thirty-One
Gemma
As we pull up next to Robbie and Jake’s work van, I try to phone Morgan again. ‘The call isn’t connecting. She must have turned her phone off. It looks like I’ll have to go over to Quinn’s to get her.’ A part of me hopes that Ethan will pipe up to say he’ll get Morgan and, in the process, say sorry to Quinn. My teeth almost itch at the thought as I mull over what was in Quinn’s letter. Did something happen between them when he was fixing the apartment up? Maybe Quinn is threatening to tell me. I saw my husband lose himself on the street over the hamper the other day, then again with Quinn last night. I’ve never seen him like this before.
‘Rather you than me,’ Ethan replies as he pulls the handbrake on.
‘I don’t know. It might have been a good opportunity to say sorry for going off on one last night.’ Still allowing doubt to niggle away at me, I take in his reaction but he gives me nothing to work with. Now I’m thinking he doesn’t want to face her because something did go on between them. ‘What do you say?’ I’m silently judging his body language now.
‘Not going to happen.’
My arms and hands feel electric with nerves. Suspicions aside, I don’t want to go over there. Ethan is obviously leaving the unpleasantries to me after he let his mouth run away with him. I feel like I apologised to Quinn enough last night but I can’t say sorry for Ethan. We live on the same lane so it’s inevitable that we’re all going to bump into each other, however much I also hate that prospect. ‘You take Cora up and get her fed and settled and I’ll get Morgan.’ Maybe I have drawn the long straw because Cora is tired and she’s starting to cry as he lifts her out of her car seat. I know she’s going to be a nightmare to settle after being at the police station for most of the afternoon.
‘Okay and I’ll see how things are going inside. Robbie and Jake are pulling a late one to get on top of everything.’ With Cora in his arms, Ethan walks off, leaving me to do the deed. Cora’s cries quieten the further away he gets from me.
As I crunch through the snow to cross the lane, I see that Quinn has just emptied her post box and now she’s heading back onto her drive. I call out. ‘Quinn.’ She doesn’t hear me, so I start running but it’s hard in the snow while wearing my useless boots. I really need to order some wellies. It’s not like back home where the gritter lorries are out at the first sign of frost. Civilisation doesn’t extend to Clover Lane.
I’m almost upon Quinn but she seems to be in a world of her own. ‘Quinn,’ I shout. She enters her house and completely ignores me as she closes the front door.
I thump the door like mad and ring the bell over and over again, but no one answers. It’s a huge house but surely Harry or Morgan can hear me. I’m still annoyed at Morgan for making me come over here, but after the day we’ve had, I just want to get her home and give her a big hug. If only she had waited in the café like I asked her to.
Light floods through the window at the far end of the building – Quinn’s studio. I carefully step between her glass wall and the elongated fish pond feature until I’m at the end of the building, then I watch her as she picks up a huge drawing of a smiley dragon with a bow on its head. She places it down and grabs a large glass of red wine and swigs greedily from it.
She kicks off her boots and exposes her grey ribbed socks that just show under her long maroon pleather skirt. Her tiny waist is nipped in at the middle and a white-as-fresh-snow polo top reaches up the length of her neck. She looks like the Quinn I know from back then but a little more sophisticated. Then she takes out a cigarette and lights it. That takes me back. She used to steal the odd cigarette from her mum. Quinn encouraged me to try one once and I nearly choked my guts up.
I tap on the window with anticipation, and she still doesn’t look. It’s only then I realise she has earbuds in. She begins to dance, sliding across the floor and holding her hands above her head. Then she turns and her gaze catches mine.
I want to look away. It feels like I’ve intruded on her privacy, but I can’t help wondering what she was listening to, so I smile and awkwardly wave while scrunching my nose up. She points to the patio doors at the opposite end of the room, so I run around the house until I reach her garden.
She opens the door. ‘Gemma.’ She blows a plume of smoke into the snowy air and offers me a drag.
‘No thanks. I haven’t touched one since we last lit up in the woods all those years ago.’ I can’t help but smile. The look on Quinn’s face tells me that she’s not mad about last night. She still looks as warm and friendly as the other day, despite me wondering if she knew I’d tried to get into her bag.
‘Well, you need to live a bit, Gem.’
Gem and Quinny. That’s what we called each other back then. Seeing her now makes me smile. It’s like the worry of the recording device, the note, the necklace, and every other horrible thing that’s going on around here has melted away. I’m assuming the kids are in the games room that Morgan spoke about.
She grabs an almost empty bottle of wine from the side and pours what’s left into her wine glass. It’s only then I can tell she’s slightly tipsy. She instructs her smart speaker to play her favourite song. ‘Wuthering Heights’ by Kate Bush comes on. ‘I was just listening to this, Gem. Remember when we used to play it back then in the den on my mum’s little portable CD player. It was her CD but we loved it so we used to nick it.’ She laughs.
I check my phone and see that Morgan hasn’t read my message. I can only imagine that she’s having a lovely time and that she’s forgotten I even exist. ‘Those were fun times but I need to get back. I came over to get Morgan.’ I pause, knowing I sound a little abrupt. ‘About last night again. I feel terrible and Ethan does too?—’
‘Shush, Gem. Don’t ruin the atmosphere. The kids are fine. They’ve gone to walk Diggerty but it’s okay. Harry knows he can’t take him into the woods at night. They’re just walking around the estate or maybe by the pond and up that path. It’s well lit up and it’s still early.’
I’m now angry. It might not be late but it’s pitch black out there. Morgan isn’t here and I can’t contact her. With all that’s going on, she could’ve stayed closer to home, but then again, at least she’s with Harry and has the protection of a dog. If I’m to keep things as normal as possible for her, I need to give her space to hang out with friends while Ethan and I deal with the shitstorm going on around us. Maybe I can share what’s been happening with Quinn. She’s half cut; still, it’s worth a try.
‘Sit down, Gem. Let me get some nuts or I don’t know… err…’ She pulls out a bag of sweets from a drawer. ‘I saw these earlier. You used to love them so I bought them for you.’ She places the bag of cherry lip sweets on her coffee table and opens them.
