‘We didn’t keep in touch.’ Quinn’s mouth downturns. ‘You said you’d write.’ She lets out a small laugh. ‘I waited for your letters that never came. I even wrote you a letter but I didn’t have your address. I put it in the post box anyway. Silly, I know.’
It’s true, I didn’t write. I pinky promised her I would, but when I got home, I couldn’t do it, and now I feel bad. I left Quinn and Clover Lane, confused. I tried so hard to pretend that feeling didn’t exist. As I go to speak, the words are trapped in my throat and I can’t talk.
‘It’s okay. You don’t have to explain. I’m just glad to have my bestie back in my life after all this time, and we’re both grown up with children which is really exciting. Fill me in. I want to know everything.’ She walks over to a fridge and pulls out a carton of juice and a pack of cream cakes. ‘Does Cora want cake or a drink?’
‘She can have a bit of mine?’
She pours the juice into two tumblers that she takes from a cupboard. She even has a kitchenette in her studio. I’m in total awe.
‘I met Ethan in high school but we got together when I was nearly eighteen.’
‘And you’re still together. That’s cute.’ She tilts her head and passes me a cake.
We both sit on the bucket chairs by the picture window and she places the drinks on a coffee table. I offer a sip of the juice up to Cora’s lips and she takes a little. Quinn’s Japanese-inspired back garden grabs my attention, and I can’t help but focus on the bridge over the pond that wasn’t there when I used to visit. She carries on speaking. ‘What did you do after school?’
‘I worked in an accounting office and studied at the same time. Ethan trained as a builder and started renovating small properties after his apprenticeship. We started working on them together, but then I had Morgan so I helped where I could. I lost Mum ten years ago. She got ill.’
‘Sorry to hear that. I remember your mum, she was really nice.’
I brush over that as it makes me sad when I think of Mum’s death. I’ll never stop missing her. ‘I went into property developing full time with Ethan after that.’
‘You were such a swat all those years ago. I remember you revising through the summer. I seriously thought you’d become a maths teacher.’ She presses her lips together and looks at me, like she’s taking me in. ‘And now you’re here, working on another house. You two are brilliant. I’m happy for you.’
‘How about you?’ I look around again and I know my life story probably sounded as dull as the weather is outside compared to hers. I catch sight of a huge TV award certificate on her wall, and there’s a photo of her with a newsreader who is handing her a trophy. Our lives are worlds apart. I think of Aunt Dorette, how her success was coming to an end and how it looks like Quinn has gone from strength to strength. I know Aunt Dorette would have been happy for Quinn, especially if she mentored her, but had it all been too much? Could that be a reason for my aunt to take her own life? The balcony was rickety but Aunt Dorette already knew that.
Quinn takes a deep breath. ‘I went to uni and studied to be an illustrator, then I had no idea what to do next. I spent a few months drawing, inventing characters and, as my mum called it at the time, dossing. Eventually, she said I had to earn some money, pay some housekeeping.’
I let out a laugh. ‘I remember your mum. Is she…?’ Damn, do I say alive or dead? I decide to leave the sentence hanging. In hindsight, I should have let her finish.
‘Car accident, twelve years ago. I was with her in the car at the time. She died and I…’
‘I am so sorry that you’ve lost your mum too.’
‘It’s okay, honestly. I miss her. We were a small family because Dad and Gran died when I was a kid.’ She takes a deep breath. ‘Anyway,’ Quinn says with a smile. ‘Back then, Mum applied for a job on my behalf. I worked at the arcade in Whitby while I drew but I got nowhere with my art. Every day, all I’d do was check the machines, clean up, give people change – and then I got my break. I’d been submitting pitches to agents and TV production companies. I came up with Mika and one of them loved her.’ She pauses.
‘And look how well you’ve done.’ I can’t help but gaze around and take it all in again.
She looks into her lap and both of us ignore our cream cakes. I sip the juice and wait for her to continue.
‘I met a producer and well, we got close, fast, and what we had lasted about two weeks but I ended up with Harry. He is my true love in life and my reason for being. I don’t regret anything. When I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified but I really wanted him, like more than anything. I knew I’d be raising him alone but I didn’t care. I’ve never looked back. My son has been my life ever since.’
‘The producer you met never wanted to be a part of Harry’s life?’ I hug Cora close. I can’t imagine not being a part of my children’s lives. They mean the world to me.
‘His loss because Harry is lovely.’ She shakes her head. ‘He lived in London back then. He was married with two children then he got a contract in America and left. I decided I didn’t want him in our lives, so it’s always only been me and Harry. Mum helped me create my studio and I’ve been here since.’
‘And from what Morgan tells me, Harry is an absolute credit to you.’
‘It’s me and my boy against the world.’ Quinn pops her bag on the floor and takes her coat off. ‘I can’t help but be slightly envious about what you have.’ She bites her frosty pink bottom lip and smiles.
Her, envious of my very average family life? She’s made the big time. I’m the green-eyed-monster here. ‘Seriously?’ I raise my brows and look around. She has everything. Ethan and I are sinking every penny we have into the house across the lane, in the hope that we have enough to finish the project, and I’m scared what we have isn’t enough. I’m scared our borrowing potential might be affected by his recent bad track record should we need more money, but I keep that to myself. I doubt she’d be envious if she knew the details.
‘It’s obvious for all to see. Ethan loves you and he adores Morgan and this little one.’ Quinn smiles at Cora, and she shyly buries her head in my shoulder. ‘I’m really happy for you but I also wish I had that for Harry because he’s an amazing kid. You have a beautiful family.’
She reaches over and hugs me and Cora again. It’s like we’ve never been apart. She pauses for a moment before continuing. ‘Do you ever think about back then, at the den?’
I can’t speak. The very thought of the den and those woods sends me into a tizz and I don’t know how to respond. This should be my moment to bring up the hamper and the article in it. I can’t. It’s as if my tongue is too big for my mouth. I glance out of her window and see the oppressive woodland trees bowing over her fence, and my heart starts racing.
Quinn sniffs.
