Maybe it’s better to never know the answer, than tell her and have her still pick Hunter over me. It’s not that I don’t want her to pick me over Hunter, but I wish there was a way for everyone to be happy without someone losing.
“And you know I think you’re an idiot.”
I roll my eyes, because I’m very aware of what Luna thinks when it comes to the mess with Hunter and Kaitlyn, but at the same time, if anyone understands what it’s like to be in a complicated situation with family, it’s her. “I will hang up on you.”
“Whatever. How are you doing with Javi being in the hospital?” she asks, moving on, and I know Henry and Mira weren’t wrong to suggest that I go home and shower. I know Javi won’t wake up alone, and I can tell my family adores him, but I feel like I’m letting him down if I leave—even if it’s only for an hour.
It’s been just me and him for so long, it’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that I don’t have to be the only one there anymore.
“I’m fine. I need to go home and shower, but shit hit the fan with Hunte—” Luna cuts me off with a groan.
“What’d golden boy do now?” she asks, and I shake my head, trying not to laugh at the nickname she gave him shortly after I told her everything that happened between us. Hunter’s not her favorite person. “You know, I don’t actually care what he did.”
“I thought I told you not to call him that.”
“You did, but you don’t tell me what to do, so I’ll call him whatever I want,” she replies, her voice dripping in sarcasm. “Are you really fine, or are you doing that thing where you think if you say you’re fine, I’ll worry less about you?”
I kind of hate how well she knows me at this point, but Iguess when someone’s there for you in your darkest moments, it makes it hard to stay mad.
Dragging a hand through my hair, I find a stairwell to hide in while we talk. “It’s hard seeing him like this, but I’m happy he’s going to be okay,” I admit, my back tight from sleeping in the chair for the few hours of sleep I got last night. It’s far from the worst place I’ve ever slept, but after over a month of sleeping on my plush mattress, I’d almost forgotten. “I’ll be okay.”
“You’ll probably feel better if you take a break and shower,” she says a moment later. “He’ll be okay, B. He’s a fighter.”
Luna’s right. He is a fighter. I’ll never forget the day his aunt told me to take him. How could anyone treat a child the way they did Javi?
“He is,” I agree, feeling a little bit of the tension slip from my shoulders. “Maybe I’ll go home in a little bit. I’m no good to Javi if I can’t take care of myself.”
She’s quiet for a moment, and I’m about to check to see if we were disconnected when she says, “I’m really proud of you, B.”
A rough laugh slips from me. “For saying I’m going to take care of myself?”
“Dude, you’re ruining the moment, let me finish. I’m really proud of you for going back, and it’s nice to hear you call it home again.”
I blink, caught off guard because I guess my brain made the unconscious shift in what this place means to me, taking the decision away from me.
“Thanks, Lu. I’m not sure I could’ve come back if it weren’t for you and everything you did to help me.”
“It’s kind of the least I could do after everything my family did to ruin your life,” she says, and despite everything, my friendship with Luna is something I’ve never regretted. “I’msorry to even bring this up, but have you heard from Carter recently?”
“Not since he kicked me out. Why?” I ask, trying to figure out where she might be leading with this. It’s been over a year since the day he told me to leave. An uneasy feeling crawls up my spine, further unsettling me.
“He asked if I was still in contact with you, so I wasn’t sure if he had reached out. I’m sorry, I just had to ask.”
I rub my brow, trying to erase the memories threatening to surface, bringing the guilt I’ve been ignoring with it. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I appreciate the heads up that he was asking.”
How different would everything be if I hadn’t answered his messages three years ago?
Nope.I can’t go there. I lived in thewhat ifsduring my first months on the streets, and it nearly destroyed me.
“Will you have Javi call me later when he’s up?”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I somehow find my voice again. “Yeah, I can do that,” I say, hoping Luna can’t hear my voice shake.
“Hey, B?”
I hum, hoping she takes that as an acknowledgement I heard her.
“I know I don’t know them, but I think if your family knew the truth, it wouldn’t change anything for them. Despite what you believe, you’re pretty easy to love.”
