“I promise.”
I’d sooner hurt myself than Kaitlyn a second time.
Javi’s still under heavy sedation, but I feel better being in the same room as him. For so long we were inseparable. I can’t imagine leaving him when he’s this vulnerable. I thought Mirabelle and Henry were going to throw hands when Henry said they’d come back first thing in the morningafter Mira refused to leave. I think it’s sweet how close they’ve gotten with Javi.
He deserves to have as many positive role models in his life as he can get. They gave him a stuffed monkey a couple of weeks ago, and I promised him I’d make sure it was here when he woke up.
Mom told me their phones would be on all night if I needed them, but I appreciated that they fought for me to stay with him instead of one of them.
It’s terrifying to see how many wires and tubes are attached to Javi. He’s just a kid. The doctor said he did great, but until he wakes up, I’m not sure I believe her.
The door creaks open behind me, and I rub my eyes, looking over my shoulder. Hunter’s the last person I expect to see standing there, holding a bag of takeout, but I don’t think I’m imagining him.
“How’s he doing?” Hunter asks, taking the chair next to mine.
“Good, I think. I just hope it worked,” I say, rolling my shoulders to ease some of the tightness from sitting in crappy chairs all day.
“I brought you some dinner,” he says, passing the bag to me. I stare at it for a moment, and he sighs. “I didn’t poison it. You need to eat.”
“Didn’t think you did, but hey, I’m at the best place I could be if you did,” I say, and he pushes the bag toward me instead of waiting for me to take it. “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.”
The steady beeping of Javi’s monitor is comforting as I unwrap the burrito to take a bite. Hunter stretches out in the seat next to me while I chew.
“He looks so small.”
“I know. Sometimes it’s easy to forget how young he really is. I’m grateful Mom and Dad were able to make this happen,”I say, knowing how lucky I am that they were willing to take me back. “How’s JJ doing?”
“I’m not sure. I know he felt bad about not being here with everyone.” I know JJ said he was doing better, but what if he’s not? I wish I could have been there for him today, but Ihadto be here for Javi. I hope he knows that.
“JJ shouldn’t feel bad. I’m proud of him for taking care of himself today,” I say, trying not to lose half my burrito as I hold it. Honestly, I don’t have much of an appetite, but I’m not willing to chance upsetting Hunter by not eating the food he took the time to bring me.
“Me too. It was really hard finding out how much he was struggling.” Hunter wipes his hands on his pants, shifting in his seat. “I was hoping we could talk about something?”
“You want to talk to me?” I ask, surprised I’m the one he’s going to.
“Yeah. I need to ask you for a favor.”
What the hell is going on? Did Kaitlyn tell him something earlier before we cleared everything up?
“Okay,” I agree, taking a small bite as Hunter’s knee bounces uncontrollably.
“I’m transferring to Beaumont. I called my coach today to let him know.”
I can’t help it. My jaw drops. After his reaction to Kaitlyn taking a gap year, this is the last thing I ever anticipated from him.
“What?You’re moving to California? Isn’t the transfer portal closed?”
“I’m applying for a transfer waiver so I can still try to play this fall. I actually applied to Beaumont this past spring after seeing what a fucking wreck JJ was before he went to rehab. He asked me so many times the last two years to transfer, and I refused because I liked going to school on the beach.” He shakes his head, looking away from me. “I know I fuckedeverything up with you, and it’s eaten me alive every day since. I should have done better with JJ. I knew he was going through something, but I thought . . . I thought JJ was just mad at the world. Hell, we all were. I thought he’d be fine.”
I picture JJ’s face when he and I talked about his addiction, and he wouldn’t want Hunter to blame himself.
“Dude, he says he’s doing better. We have to believe him,” I say, watching as he lifts his chin, taking a deep breath.
“I picked the fucking beach over my own brother, and I missed all the signs, B. We could have lost JJ in that accident. Did he tell you he was the only survivor?” Hunter asks. Kaitlyn mentioned it, but I never asked JJ about it.
I thought leaving was my burden to bear, but I wasn’t the only one going through heavy shit. I should’ve been here for my family. I could have helped.
