He’s my best friend.
Things would never be the same if Bailey knew how I felt about him. It’s a miracle he hasn’t caught on to the way I’m always looking at him or how I hang on to his every last word.
It would complicate everything with Hunter as well.
I couldn’t even imagine what he’d say if he knew how much of a jumbled mess my head is.
Actually, he’d probably be horrified. I’m better off smothering my feelings until they disappear completely.
I’m hoping that by making the cheerleading team, I’ll find a new part of my identity. Maybe it’ll give me a sign of what I want to do at college, since I haven’t narrowed it down yet. All my friends have at least an idea of what they want, but the thought of choosing one thing to do for the rest of my life makes my chest feel tight. The only thing that makes me feel somewhat better is knowing Bailey might end up at Duke with me next year if he accepts the offer from their soccer coach.
But for now, I can ride the high of choosingsomething.
It’s late, but I’m betting my brother will still be up. Ilaughed so hard at the gossip magazine cover he found himself starring in. Knowing him, the party boy rumors couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s hilarious—or at least it is to me—how they’re portraying him. Obviously he doesn’t tell me everything, but I also know Henry well enough to understand he’d rather be at home with a book than sitting at a club.
“Hey, Kait,” he greets, answering the phone, and I can hardly keep my excitement to myself.
“Henry, I made the cheerleading team!” I kick my feet in excitement on my bed.
“That’s great. I knew you would,” he says, and I realize this is the perfect opportunity to fuck with him. Technically, we’re half-siblings with a nine-year age gap between us, but Henry’s never failed to be there for me as my overprotective big brother. Sometimes I think he even gets jealous when I call the twins my best friends instead of him.
I grin, trying not to laugh. “Thanks. Maybe if I work hard enough, I could end up cheering for you at your games.”
Henry scoffs, which is exactly how I expected him to react. “Fuck no,” he blurts out. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just you’re seventeen, and all the guys are . . . they’re just . . . I don’t know. If you want to be a cheerleader, then be a cheerleader.”
Wow, that sounded like it was painful for him. “Henry, I won’t be seventeen if I’m cheering for you,” I remind him. Sometimes I think he forgets I’m now a senior in high school.
“Just stay away from boys.”
Oh my god, he’s such a hypocrite.
“Yeah, ’cause you totally stayed away from girls when you were my age,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm. He’s mellowed out the last couple of years, but I remember hearing my parents reminding him they weren’t ready to become grandparents yet. It probably wouldn’t hurt to give him a reminder.
“You were eight, what exactly do you remember about it?”
“Ta gueule!”?1
“Whatever. How is it having your boyfriends at school?” he taunts, giving me a taste of my own medicine.
I roll my eyes, but after everything at school this week, it’s more annoying than usual. “Henry, don’t call them that. Hunter and Bailey are my best friends, they just happen to be boys.” Even if I want Bailey to be more than my best friend. But unless I’m able to disappear into a parallel universe, he’ll never be more.
“If you say so,” he says, chuckling under his breath. I’m glad he can amuse himself. “Is it nice having them there, though?”
“It’d be nicer if everyone else wasn’t obsessed with them,” I mumble under my breath, instantly feeling guilty after saying it. I’m glad they’re making friends, but I’m ready for things to calm down.
Bailey’s been acting off the last couple of days, but when I tried to ask him if everything was okay, he brushed me off. I figured he might just be bummed about Mirabelle and JJ moving out of the house, or maybe he’s getting overwhelmed by all the attention he’s getting at school.
Hunter isn’t having any problem fitting in with the football team, but I can tell all the changes are wearing on him. I’m glad he has the routine of football right now to help him adjust.
“Sorry, what was that?”
I sigh, putting my phone on speaker to start twisting my long hair into a braid while I wrangle my thoughts. “Yeah . . . I guess it is nice. I don’t think you have anything to worry about when it comes to me staying away from boys. Every guy is too busy obsessing over Hunter and Bailey because oftheir dad. I don’t think any of them would notice if I walked into a room naked.”
Not that I want to walk into a room naked, but it’s frustrating.
“Well, I’m personally on the team ofdon’t walk into a room nakedbecause I’d end up in prison for killing everyone who looked at you,” he says after a moment, and I appreciate him trying to be supportive. “I’m sure that’s not true, Kait. It’s only been a couple days.”
“I know. I’m just annoyed.”
