Is he for real? Did he skip health class in high school or something?
Henry slumps into a seat, rubbing his hands over his face. “I didn’t even realize that it could stretch that much,” he says, using his fingers to try and demonstrate the size a vagina can expand to.Oh my god.
“Are you stupid?” I ask, unable to hold the question in any longer. I’m honestly embarrassed right now to admit I shareanyof the same brain cells as him. I hope he said the same thing to Mirabelle because she deserves to know how she’s been duped by my smooth-talking brother.
Sebastian and Dad are shaking their heads laughing at him. “Well? Am I a grandpa?” Dad asks, clearly wanting to move past this part of the conversation to cut to the chase.
Who the fuck doesn’t understand babies have to come out of somewhere?
Henry’s face shifts from horror to a soft, endearing smile. “Yeah, they’re perfect. Twenty fingers and twenty toes all accounted for.”
Due to the fact I’m refusing to let go of Bailey, I drag him with me as I stand up to move closer to my idiotic brother, smacking him on the back of the head.
“Ow, what was that for?” he complains, looking at me annoyed just before I wrap an arm over his shoulders to hug him tightly.
“Next time, lead with the fact that my niece and nephew are perfect instead of recounting how horrified you are after seeing your wife’s vagina pump out two babies.”
Dad snorts, and Henry rubs the back of his head.
“Why do you have to say it like that?”
“Because it’s the truth. If you can put them in her, then you can watch them come out. If you don’t like how they’re born, then maybe you’re not qualified to procreate.”
Sebastian grimaces. “Okay, enough talk about where the babies go in and out of. Are you going to wait until my hair is completely grey before telling us their names?”
“I’ll let Mira tell you. The babies were getting cleaned upquick so I was sent to deliver the news,” Henry explains, standing up, motioning for everyone to follow. “Come on Javi, I have some people for you to meet.”
Javi doesn’t bat an eyelash as he bounds toward him, jumping on him at the last second. Henry beams, catching him mid-air, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t melt my heart a little. They’ve started with sleepovers on the weekends to give Javi a chance to try being away from Bailey.
I still think he’s an idiot though.
I’m sure in anyone else’s family, it would be absurd to have four more of us join Mirabelle and our moms, but in this one, the more of us there are, the merrier it is.
Henry’s paycheck is clearly good for something because this might be the biggest hospital room I’ve ever seen. He’s passed a tiny bundle from Thalia after setting Javi down. Mirabelle’s holding the other baby, her hair damp with sweat around her face, but I don’t think there’s anything that could erase the bright smile she has.
“Guys, we’d like you to meet Clementine, Clem for short,” Henry says, smiling down at the baby in his arms. I seriously can’t believe my brother is a dad.
“And this is Theo,” Mirabelle says as the baby boy in her arms starts to fuss a little bit, almost like he heard us talking about him before settling.
Sebastian moves closer to where Clementine is being cradled in Henry’s arms, saying what I’d guess we’re all thinking. “They’re so tiny.”
Mirabelle huffs, clearly disagreeing with the statement. “Yeah, let me tell you they’re not very tiny when they’re coming out, Dad.”
I bite back my comment we’ve already been over this.
“They kind of look like aliens,” Bailey whispers in my ear, and I clamp my jaw shut to prevent laughter of any kind fromslipping out. I wait until I’m sure no one around us heard his comment before responding.
“I wouldn’t say that to anyone else if I were you. I think Mira would kill you.”
“Javi, what do you think?” I register Mirabelle asking Javi from where he stands next to her.
“He’s kind of funny looking,” Javi says, his head tilted in confusion as if he’s not quite sure what to think.
Mirabelle laughs, dropping her head against the pillows. “Yeah, kind of, but he’s perfect in every way, just like you,” she says, giving him a tired smile.
“Wait, why is it okay if he says it, but not if I say it?” Bailey starts to protest and I’m starting to get a little curious as to how the male species has survived this long. Does he really not understand the difference between him and a five-year-old?
“Because Javi is five.”
