“Are you sure you want to talk?” he asks, and I think there’s definitely some things for us to talk about, especially because I want this to last.
He combs his golden waves out of his face. Yesterday, he let me touch his face, and I hated hearing he isn’t used to a loving touch. B’s experienced the cruelty of the world, and I wish I could take it all away from him. There’s just enough light for his scar to stand out, and I can feel the weight of his green eyes on me.
Let’s start simple.
“Why do you call me sunshine?”
His breath of relief is obvious. “Because that’s what you are to me—pure sunshine. You make me feel all warm and fuzzy, and when you smile at me? It’s brighter than the sun itself because you are the center of my universe,” Bailey says, his thumb distracting me as it rubs back and forth on my hip.
My cheeks burn hot because of all the reasons he could have chosen sunshine, I never imagined there would be so much thought behind it. I thought it might be just a cheesy nickname. “That’s really sweet.”
“Just like you.” Now it’s my turn to raise my eyebrows athim and he laughs. I can’t believe we’re here. “Okay, I’ll admit, that was corny as shit. It sounded better in my head than out loud.”
“I can’t imagine any scenario where that sounds better in your head.”
Another laugh like a reward. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” Bailey agrees. “Is that all you wanted to talk about?”
“No.” I turn to tuck myself into his side, draping my arm across his torso to hold him so he can’t run. “I want to talk about us and aboutbefore.”
Bailey says nothing just like I predicted, but I can feel his body tense underneath me.
“You told me about Carter and how Kiera lied to you both. I know it couldn’t have been easy to share, but I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate it. I haven’t told anyone anything, and I swear I won’t.” He’s watching me closely, a puzzled expression forming. “I wanted to tell you I’m not going to ask for more. I . . . I want to tell you I’m here if you ever want to talk about the rest of it, but I’m not going to ask. It’s up to you. We don’t ever have to talk about any of it again if you don’t want to.”
I want to know more, but I’m not going to push him on it. Bailey’s so busy running away from the past, I don’t want to push him into running away from me again. The last time he did, it nearly broke us all.
“Thank you,” he says, his voice breaking.
“I see you, Bailey. I see the good, the bad, and the in-between. I don’t expect you to be anyone other than who you are now,” I say, hoping he believes me.
I don’t know what this is between us, but I know I’m willing to do nearly anything to protect it.
Resting my hand on his chest, I focus on the steady pattern of his breathing. I think he’s fallen asleep, which is probably a good thing because no one slept well last nightexcept Javi. I’m convinced that kid could sleep through anything at this point.
Something only possible because of Bailey.
God, I’m so thankful they had each other. I really don’t know where either one would have ended up.
It’s a horrifying thought to consider.
“I was pushed down stairs.” Bailey’s voice is quiet, but catches me off guard nonetheless because I was pretty damn sure he was asleep. I don’t move, afraid that if I do, he’ll stop talking. “That’s how I got the scar on my temple. It was before Javi. I got caught in a storm, and I remember it being so cold, I didn’t know how I’d ever feel warm again. The beds at the shelters go fast, and I didn’t get one that night, so I camped out in a doorway in a back alley to try getting out of the rain. Most of the time, people just try to ignore you, hoping you’ll go away, or they call the cops. Others . . . they get a kick out of fucking with the homeless. I woke up the next morning to some teenagers messing with me, and I made the mistake of giving them the reaction they were looking for.”
Oh, Bailey.
My heart aches in my chest, and I think I understand better now. He’s not only hiding the truth from all of us, but also from himself, so he doesn’t have to face what he went through.
“They wanted my bag. They probably thought I had drugs in it. Shit gets stolen all the time, and the more you have, the more chances you give people to hurt you. I had a picture of my family in it, though, and I wouldn’t give it up when one of them tried to grab it. It was the last thing that tied me to my life before I fucked everything up. The doorway I found was at the top of some stairs, and it drained well in the rain, which was why I picked it. Another guy got behind me and shoved me. It happened so fast, but I hit my head on the way down. I was lucky I missed my eye.”
“Bailey—” I start to say, but he interrupts, tightening his hold on me.
“Don’t apologize. Just please,don’t. I don’t want to hear it.”
“I wasn’t going to apologize. I was going to say thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.” I sit up, moving to press a kiss directly on top of where his scar is, doing my best to take away the ugly, emotional pain behind it.
“Do we have to go back yet?”
“Nope,” I say, resting my head in the crook of Bailey’s neck, making myself comfortable.
There’s no where else I’d rather be than right here in his arms.
