Yesterday, I was so bored I cleaned the entire apartment. I think it’s a new low because I don’t know a single person in their right mind who would willingly clean. It’s better than sitting here regretting every choice I’ve made, though.
A part of me misses school, but I just have to get used tothis new normal. I didn’t really have a plan when I ran away, but it felt like I had no other option.
The sound of the lock flipping in the door has me somewhat on edge because it’s still a couple of hours before either of them is supposed to be home. Carter didn’t say either of them was going to be home early, but I see his mother standing there, and it makes sense why he didn’t let me know. Kiera didn’t tell him she was coming here.
My mistrust must be showing on my face because Kiera immediately puts her hands up, her face flushing in embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to show up unannounced. I guess I did, but I just wanted to speak with you without . . . well, without my family listening.”
“Okay,” I say, unable to shake the feeling something is off. I don’t want to feel this way, but it’s suspicious she didn’t tell Carter. Maybe I’m just a fucking cynic at this point because she could have told him and he just forgot to tell me.
I’m projecting, right? Just because I can’t trust my family doesn’t mean I can’t ever trust anyone. I wish I didn’t feel like I had to scrutinize every person I meet in my life, but when your own family has lied to your face for years, it feels like I have to.
Kiera’s given me no reason not to trust her after welcoming me into her home when she could have turned me away. I wouldn’t have blamed her if she had. I’m a walking reminder of the man who left her for another woman when she was pregnant.
“Is it okay if I sit?”
It takes me a second to realize she’s asking for my permission, and I nod once I snap back into it. “So what did you want to talk about?”
Kiera tilts her head, studying me. “Did you know that for as much as you take after your mom, I see so much of Sebastian in you?”
“Really?” The question escapes my mouth before I can even stop it. All I’ve heard my entire life is I’m a spitting image of my mom in every way. I have her golden blond hair, the spring green eyes, and the same fiery temper.
As much as I don’t want to be associated with my dad right now, I’ve never heard that I look like him. The warm, fuzzy feeling that grows in my chest throws me off balance, because I don’t want to be happy to be compared to him.
“Has no one ever told you that?” she asks, a sad smile forming on her face. All I can do is shake my head, too choked up to even say anything. “You have his nose, the same facial structure, and your smile is identical to his. I noticed at dinner when you’re listening to everyone else speak, you tap your fingers repeatedly just like he used to when he was nervous. I’m sorry I’m just surprised no one’s ever told you. I can tell just by looking at you that you’re his son.”
“How can you stand to look at me?” I ask, my throat threatening to close up on me. “What my parents did to you was wrong. You should hate me.”
“Bailey, it’s been a really long time since everything happened with your parents. They made mistakes, but so did I?—”
I cut her off, unable to hear more excuses made for them. “He left when you were pregnant after cheating on you with my mom. How can you just let that go? And Carter? Our dad abandoned him too. Before he found me, my parents had never even mentioned either of you.” I don’t understand how they could just leave out we had another sibling—one Dad neglected his entire life.
Kiera closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. “I don’t blame them. It’s not like I told Carter either. It was a painful time for everyone, and I know I wanted to move on instead of focusing on everything I lost.”
“Yet here I am, a constant reminder of it,” I say, but I’msurprised again when Kiera reaches over to wrap her hand around mine.
“What I came here to tell you is I’m not going to hold your parents’ faults against you. You’re welcome with my family any time.” She squeezes my hand before pulling away.
Kiera wouldn’t be telling me this if she knew I’d purposefully lit one house on fire, and nearly another. It feels like I’m suffocating on my own shame, and I have to look away.
“Thank you. I mean it. You’re a fuc—um, shit, sorry—freakingsaint for even just allowing me to hang around. I appreciate it.”
“Nice save,” she teases, laughing quietly. “Carter told me how excited he is to have you here, but you’re welcome to stay at the house with us any time you’d like.”
“I’d like that, thanks,” I say, mustering a smile. Is it possible Kiera might actually just be a nice person?
“I’m glad you said that because you’re invited to Sunday night family dinners,” she says, and I don’t think I’d say no even if I wanted to.
“Okay,” I agree without putting up a fight.I can’t remember the last time that happened. “Can I ask you something?”
“Within reason, sure.”
I watch as her eyes dart down to look at where I’m drumming my fingers on my knee, and I didn’t even realize I was doing it. “I don’t even know how to ask my parents, so I understand if you don’t want to answer, but will you tell me what happened with my parents? Like why they broke up in the first place, and how you ended up with my dad?”
I’m not trying to hurt her, but I have to know.
She nods, leaning back into the couch cushions, pulling a pillow into her lap to get comfy. “It took me a long time to even get the full story about what happened between them. Your aunt was the one who told me because Seb refused tobroach the topic of your mom to the point where I didn’t know the truth until it was too late. Everything made sense after that. I met Thalia when we’d visit your grandparents for the holidays, and I’ll never forget how they would just go back and forth at the dinner table. There were even times when I worried they’d have a brawl over the table.”
Well at least that tracks. They still fight all the time over stupid stuff.
