“Meaning, when I imagine talking to one specific person, teaching”—I thought about Elizabeth asking me to explain the monitors—“I get excited, but when I’m in front of a camera, I can’t exactly see who I’m reaching. So I pretend.”
“So why don’t you get a job doing just the science part?”
I let out a long sigh. “I look sometimes, but I worry I’d feel like an impostor at a legit research job.”
She snorted. “You have no problem getting up in front of thousands of people and confidently predicting the forecast, but you’re afraid you’re not good enough to hang out with scientists?”
I shrugged. “When you put it like that. But what if I couldn’t hack it? I’ve got a pretty decent career. It’s just….” I struggled to find the word without sounding ungrateful. “Dream job adjacent, I guess.”
She held up a hand. “Okay, that I understand. And honestly, I also get the impostor syndrome. If we’re being honest, it’s one of the reasons I haven’t applied for an MFA at another school.”
“Well, you should. You’re bloody brilliant.”
“‘Oh, flatter me; for love delights in praises.’”
“What is that from?”
“The Two Gentlemen of Verona.”
“Wow. Proof you belong in school.”
She fished her keys out of her purse as we climbed the steps to her house. “It’s a parlor trick. I have soliloquies and sonnets cluttering my brain like normal people memorize song lyrics.”
I leaned against the door frame while she unlocked the door. “I’m fascinated by your brain.”
It was weird being back at Elizabeth’s—the erstwhile scene of the crime—knowing everything I knew now. Like looking through a kaleidoscope. The childhood friend I’d imagined swirled with the reality of Elizabeth. But I was finally ready to let go of resentment. For whatever reason, trickery or not, this woman had sunk her teeth into me, and I was a grateful victim.
“Do you want something to drink,” she asked. “Water? Coffee? Wine?”
I shook my head, pushing against her, one hand settling on her shoulder, one on her hip, like we were preparing to dance.”Do you?”
“No.” She half-stepped back, letting me lead, as we moved together into the living room. “But I think I should jump in the shower. I’ve got bar funk in my hair. Do you mind?”
“I don’t mind, but in all fairness, I’ve just come from the station. I’ve got station funk in my hair.”
Her lip curled up on one side. “We should probably conserve water, don’t you think?”
I laughed, but Elizabeth didn’t. I leaned in, and she gasped as I sank my lips onto hers, like it was always the first time. My hand slid around the back of her head, and she melted into me as I pulled her closer, kissed her more deeply, parting her lips with my tongue, arousing a desire I’d kept on a leash for so long.
“Elizabeth,” I whispered.
Her fingers dug into my shirt, and I wanted her. Nobody but her.
I felt up under her shirt, palms planing her abdomen, and the soft curve of her belly electrified me. She didn’t feel like a stranger to me. We’d been here before. We’d done this, but despite the familiarity, there was an overlying novelty, because this time, I wasn’t confusing her with anyone else.
She sighed, and just knowing I could make her feel good turned me on even more. “I want you,” I said, not meaning to speak the words.
I pressed into her so I could kiss her with the raw urgency I’d somehow only ever felt with her. When I dragged my mouth along her jaw to her neck, grazing her with my teeth, she clutched my hair and groaned.
“Take this off,” I commanded, and she immediately complied, unbuttoning her shirt, her bra a sinful barrier barely concealing her nipples.
“You, too,” she rasped, tugging at my collar.
I shucked my shoes and peeled off my jacket and button-up shirt, dropping them to the floor, returning to press my lips on her temple. “You smell so delicious.”
She lifted my hand to her lips and kissed the tips of my fingers, smiling into my skin as goose flesh crept up the inside of my arm. With a tug, she bade me to follow her into her bedroom.
In the doorway, she paused, a shadow crossing her face. “Is this moving too fast?”
