Bas chided, “You sure about that? I’m detecting a lot of hot air.”
Chelsea chuckled, and despite my irritation with all three of them this morning, their banter made me laugh. It was obvious how good Bas had been for her. She volleyed, “So much atmospheric tension.”
Evan made frog lips, but he finally stepped away from the house and approached me.
Bas teased, “Oh, look, the barometric pressure is dropping.”
“Stop,” Evan said, laughing despite himself.
“Oh, he speaks,” Chelsea said.
I met him halfway, cautiously. “Is everything okay?”
He sighed and took my hand. “Yeah. I’m embarrassed by my reaction. And sorry.”
That was a good start. I studied his weary face for traces of the guy who’d spoken to me like I’d somehow cheated on him. My knee-jerk reaction in almost any confrontation was to wave it away, to say it didn’t really matter. But it did. And I was so tired of capitulating to everyone, to accepting less than I deserved.
I’d been learning to speak up for myself, partly thanks to Chelsea pushing me out of my comfort zone, partly thanks to Lauren driving me to quit a salaried position, but also thanks to Evan showing me how to simply ask for what I wanted.
I needed to put that growth to the test now and speak to Evan with my whole heart, whatever the fallout. I was also worthy of more.
My trust in him was shaken, but at least he recognized he’d made a mistake, and I wanted to hear him out. “Come on. We can talk while we hike. Bas and Chelsea will come, too.” I glanced at Chelsea, amused now at the stunned look on her face. “Right?”
“Nooo.”
I threw out the bait I knew would win her over, and maybe I had an ulterior motive. I wanted Evan to understand how innocent our game was. “Picking fruit is on the list.”
She glared at me, whining, “My breakfast. My delicious breakfast.”
Chapter Thirty-two
Evan
“For which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me?”
Much Ado About Nothing
It was such a glorious November day for a drive up to Carter’s Mountain, perfect weather for warm apple cider overlooking Charlottesville. If only we’d done this yesterday, before I’d made an ass of myself.
With a glance up at Bas and Chelsea in the front seat, I turned to face Elizabeth. “Listen. About last night.”
Her eyes narrowed, like she didn’t quite trust me, cruel irony after all the time I’d spent doubting her. I deserved that. “I’m listening.”
I counted myself lucky she was giving me a chance. “There was nothing on that list that should have sent me over the edge. I don’t honestly believe you were collecting man trophies. That was my fear talking. Even if you were—like you said—that’s your business, not mine.”
She nodded, still stiff, but at least she was open to this conversation. For some reason, she’d granted me the grace I’d requested—so far. But I’d done nothing but pour hot water on thin ice, and I was going to have to earn back her trust now.
“So then what happened? You turned into someone I barely recognized. And I really don’t want to play whack-a-mole, explaining myself over and over.”
I fought the urge to smile at that. Even mad, she made me laugh. But I wanted to impress on her how sorry I was. I never wanted to be the person who’d hurt her like that. “Honestly, I didn’t feel in control of myself at all. I don’t want to make excuses, but I hadn’t anticipated the buried emotions those people would dredge up.”
“Is that something you’re going to work through with your therapist?”
“Yeah. I mean, I’d already talked about Vicky. Now I get to explain how I was the bad guy all along.”
“You weren’t the bad guy, Evan. You were a kid. You didn’t have the tools to deal with that particular situation, and maybe you handled it poorly, but so did Vicky. Neither of you had all the facts.”
“And that’s probably what my therapist will say, but still. What else have I been wrong about?”
