That was an understatement. I leveled my gaze at him. “It had crossed my mind.”
“If I wanted sex, I could get it. And I know how bad this sounds, but sex has never been something I had to work hard for. You know my track record. I can’t pretend things aren’t what they are. But what I can’t find is someone I just want to spend time with, someone I want to get to know. That’s priceless to me.”
“But why me?”
He scooted over and sat cross-legged next to me, stroking my hand. “I could ask you the same thing. Why me, Jo?”
I’d been so fixated on trying to understand how he could possibly have any idea who I was in only a week that I hadn’t stopped to wonder how I’d developed such a strong positive feeling toward him beyond physical attraction in the same amount of time. This despite fairly damning information I’d assessed objectively. This despite the swarm of queasy doubts that plagued me when I imagined how many casual relationships he’d flown through. Why him indeed? “I don’t know. Gut instinct.”
“Exactly.” He gazed at me with his bedroom eyes and his soft lips turned in a perfect smolder.
I’d never felt so conflicted. I wanted him to kiss me again, but I hesitated. “You know what I want to do?”
“What?” He interlaced our fingers together.
“I want to lie here and listen to you talk. But I am nearly desperate to lay my hands on your skin. I want to get to know you better—but slowly. Can we work something out?”
“Yeah.” He slid in next to me, and we each laid our heads on a pillow. Then he turned to face me, letting me run my hand along his arm and wrap my fingers in his. I found the hem of his shirt and touched the soft hair along his tight abs. I followed the trail up to his chest. If he was dying, he didn’t say.
“Can I ask you something first?” His voice at that volume made me willing to answer anything.
“Yeah.” I’d reached his collarbone and tiptoed across it until it ran out, then I spread my hand out and caressed his shoulder.
A small groan escaped him. “Mmm. That feels so nice.”
“That’s not a question.” His neck felt warm and tense. If I didn’t think it would lead to anything more, I would have laid my lips on his skin there. Micah needed kissing.
“I kind of had the feeling at first that you wanted to be with me to get better pictures. When you left me on the sidewalk that night, you said it was because you weren’t feeling well.”
“I hadn’t eaten, Micah. I was afraid I was fixing to pass out right in front of you. I would have rather died.”
He nuzzled the top of my head and kissed my forehead. “I believe you. But then you snubbed me outside the club the next night, and I figured I didn’t stand a chance with you.”
“Micah, I can explain. Wally was out there and—”
He laid a hand on my arm and said quietly, “Let me say it all. I feel weirdly safe right now, and I want to say it all. Okay?”
“Yes. I’m listening.”
“So when you tweeted me about the show, I had a fleeting hope you might be interested. But when I messaged you and you never wrote me back, I figured you only wanted to keep things friendly or professional. Obviously, that was my stupidity.”
“Yeah, I wanted to write you back, but you weren’t following me. That was so frustrating.”
His breath tickled my cheek, and I turned my face up toward him. He met my eyes. “I was afraid you wouldn’t come to my show if you couldn’t take pictures. I thought I’d need to entice you with press credentials.”
I pulled his hand to my lips and kissed his palm. “You still haven’t asked me a question.”
His nervous laughter sounded false, equal parts relief and sadness. “I just want to ask when you stopped thinking of me as someone who could help you with your career and started to see me as someone you might like to spend time with.” I pressed my lips against the ends of his fingers, one at a time. “You have started to think of me that way, right?”
I stopped kissing him and lifted myself up on an elbow. “Are you asking if I’m using you, right now, to advance my career?”
“I’m sorry. It’s Eden in my head. I want to trust everyone at face value, and until tonight, I wouldn’t have asked the question. But now it has the potential to really hurt. So I have to ask it. But I swear, I never will again. If you tell me I can trust this, I will. Completely.”
I poked at my inner sense of righteousness for theHow dare he?but I couldn’t find it. It had absconded with myWhat will the neighbors think?
“Micah, those are fair questions. To be honest, I had the same concerns about you. I thought at first you only wanted me around for the publicity.”
“Really?”
