Lucy blows out a breath. “I think normal died about two hospitalizations ago.”
I snort.
“I’m probably not the best person to ask,” she goes on, “because I feel like I’m still in the thick of it. Has your life gone back to normal?”
“No,” I say. “It hasn’t.” No matter how many lists I make or goals I chase. I look down at my lap. I should be grateful I’m done with treatment. Grateful I have a life to return to.
Lucy leans in, like we’re about to conspire to rob a bank or plan a surprise party. “I’ve always liked the butterfly metaphor.”
“Like, metamorphosis?”
“Yes, but think about it this way: caterpillar bodies are made for crawling, eating leaves. Then once they leave the cocoon, their shape is completely different because now they need to fly and mate and stuff. I mean, the caterpillar’s body actually dissolves intocellsfrom the inside out, and the cells reform into a butterfly. Our bodies are being rearranged into completely different shapes and will be capable of completely new things. But when you’re in the middle of it—when you’re in the cocoon—it’s impossible to imagine flying.” She sits back.
“And you’ll leave the cocoon once you’re done with treatment?”
She sips from her thermos, thoughtful. “Not necessarily. You leave the cocoon when you’re ready.”
Someone taps a microphone, causing sharp feedback to ring through the packed cafe. “Sorry!” a woman says. “Testing, 1…2…” she mutters into the microphone.
A hand wraps around my shoulders and places a steaming mug of tea in front of me. “Hope you like peppermint,” Eitan murmurs in my ear. “Hi, there,” he says to Lucy.
“Hi.” She smiles at him. “Is this your partner?” She looks at me.
“No, he’s, uh, just a friend.” I turn red.
“My spouse is here somewhere.” Lucy cranes her neck. “They were parking. Daniel!”
Familiar coily hair piled beneath a yellow bandana, glowing dark skin, and a welcoming smile join the table.
I stare at my barista, eyes wide in shock.
“Hey!” Daniel says. “Ruby, right?”
“Yeah, that’s me.” I look between Daniel and Eitan. “Daniel works at the Mike’s next to my apartment.”
Chicago is the world’s largest small town.
“Hi everyone! Welcome to AYAs Take Chicago,”the woman says into the microphone.“I’m Maddy, I’ll be your host for the evening. We’re going to get started in a few minutes.”
I’m still not fully briefed on what this eventis.
“What’s starting in a few minutes?” I look at Eitan.
“It’s an open mic!” Lucy says brightly.
Eitan boops my nose. “Don’t worry, I already signed you up.”
chapter
twenty-one
“Why would you do that?”I ask through gritted teeth.
“You’re a writer, right?” The hand on my shoulder has the gall to squeeze. “This should be a piece of cake.”
I grimace and hope it looks like a smile. Lucy is watching us with rapt attention.
“It will be fun,” Lucy declares. “I’m going up there, too.”
