“We all were,” she rushed to add.
He let out a mirthless chuckle.“Some more than others.As for being crushed, it was only my ego.I’d seen the writing on the wall for a while.Hell, I think I saw it the first time we went out.”
Absently, he scratched the side of his clean-shaven jaw.Did she prefer him this way or with that sexy stubble?He looked good both ways.
Stop!Thank God he couldn’t read her thoughts.
He lined up the tails of his tie.“Looks can be important, but they’re also overrated.You know how you meet someone and you think they’re attractive, but the more you get to know them, the more flaws you see?”Angie gave him an encouraging nod.“That was Brianna for me.And even as dumb as I was back then, I knew from the beginning it wouldn’t last.I was traveling a lot, and I knew exactly what Brianna was after because she talked about it.All.The.Time.
“It worked for a while because I liked the idea of having a steady at home, and she could tell everyone her boyfriend was a hockey player headed to the NHL and a fat bank account.She finally got tired of waiting around for that big moment, and that’s when she decided I wasn’t worth it and chased someone who looked like a bigger paycheck.”
Angie sagged against her desk as her twisted emotions unfurled a fraction.“Do you regret dating her?”
“That’s an interesting question.”Now he slid the tie from its knot, pulling the loop over his head and stuffing the thing into his jacket pocket.His navy blues regarded her, and she found it hard to focus her attention elsewhere.“If I hadn’t dated her, I wouldn’t have gotten to know you.Know what really bothered me about that whole thing?”
Angie shook her head, afraid to speak.
“Breaking up with her meant I broke up with you too, in a way.Like, we couldn’t be friends anymore.”
The surprise train just kept chugging at her.
“Sam, of course we could have been friends.Wewerefriends.Isn’t that why you came to me that night?”she blurted out.
He shook his head.“No, Angie.That attraction thing I was just talking about.It works the other way too.You meet someone and they don’t grab you at first, but as you get to know them, they transform into someone beautiful … like you.”The look in his eyes told her this was no joke.“I didn’t come to you that night for sympathy.I came to you because I figured I could finally go after the girl Ireallyliked.”
“What?”Her voice came out as a raspy choke.
“Yeah, I know.Makes me an asshole for dating one girl but really wanting to be with her best friend.I didn’t realize it for a long time because I had so many plates spinning in the air.Plus, I didn’t want to admit it, but Brianna saw it.She accused me of it once.I’m not proud of feeling that way, but I never acted on it … until that night when you came to my game in San Jose.You were going to school out there.Remember that?”
Seriously?How could she forget?
Angie had needed an escape from their Minnesota hometown, so she’d pursued her education in sunny California.
“Of course I remember.”Best night of her life—until it was the worst.
“But then I got a text that told me to report to the Blizzard’s AHL team, the Hawks, that I was being called up,” he continued.
“And you left.”
“I left.”
“Without a word.”
“Yeah.”He stroked his curls as if trying to tame them, but they stubbornly sprang up again.“That was a shit thing to do to anyone, let alone you.I had all kinds of excuses at the time, but that’s all they were.Excuses.To this day, I’m not sure why I cut you out of my life like that.Maybe I was afraid I couldn’t have both you and hockey, you know?”
“And hockey was number one,” she murmured.
The movement was tiny, but he flinched.“Yeah, it was.I kept thinking of all the people who worked their asses off and sacrificed to get me to that point.My dad, my mom, my coaches.I didn’t want to fail them, if that makes sense.”
“What about those times I texted you to see how you were doing?You could have at least said, ‘Hey, I’m alive!’Instead, you ghosted me.”
He pointed at her phone beside her paperwork.“Notice I’m not calling from the same number?That’s because I lost my phone somewhere between San Jose and reporting for my AHL debut.When I arrived, it was a whirlwind, and when they found out I’d lost my phone, they got me a new one with a new number.Said I was better off not hanging on to the old one because people might stalk me.I was only supposed to give that new number out to close friends and family.”
While his answer made sense, it stung like rock salt being mashed into her old wound.“And I didn’t make the list.”A statement, not a question.“What was all that BS about us being such good buds?”
His gaze slid away for an instant before coming back to rest on hers.Pain turned them a shade of blue that reminded her of the trough of a turbulent ocean wave.“Youshouldhave made the list.I’ve thought about it a lot these last few weeks, and I came to the conclusion that I was scared you’d be too big a distraction, just like my coaches warned me you would.”
“Your … coaches warned you against me?”
