It’s almost sacred now, so Belle’s presence in my home cinema is basically blasphemy.
I sit here with the movie resting on my lap, since I don’t want to disrupt the flow of Jamie telling his cow story from a few summers ago. I smile and nod even though I think the story is as pointless as it was when he told me the first time.
“… And so I’m trying to convince the maid that the udders are the cow’s genitals…”
I don’t know how Belle can genuinely be interested in this story. I watch her watch him, her annoying face keeping me occupied. She’s curled up in the plush black-and-white cinema seat, her neck elongated, rosy cheeks, long lashes, really pink lips—I get why so many guys like her. She’s pretty—if you like girls like her, I mean. There’s a weird rush in my stomach, like it’s about to growl but doesn’t.
I look away and it disappears, my body probably reminding me how much I can’t stand their relationship.
“… I get in trouble because apparently, we can eat cows but not chase them—”
I clear my throat, interrupting the strange direction his story is heading.
“Movie time.” I get up and walk over to the projector at the back of the room, then place the movie in the player. I can hear Belle’s light, irritating laughter behind me as the disk sinks into the machine. I don’t want to turn back and see them acting all lovey-dovey, so I turn but shift my focus to the wall at the front, which is acting as a screen. The disk buffers, then stops as the movie credits flash up.
“Why did Microsoft PowerPoint cross the road…? To get to the other slide—”
My first instinct is to grab the heaviest object I can find and lob it at Jamie, but instead I interrupt with a dry laugh. My eyes briefly catch Belle’s and my stomach turns again, before I smile at Jamie.
“Good to see you’re still recycling your dad’s favorite jokes,” I say. I press pause on the film, wanting their full attention before starting it, and move back into my place next to Jamie.
“You have a nice home cinema,” Belle says. I can’t read her face like I can read Ruby’s and Ava’s.
“Thanks,” I reply without looking at her, my mind more focused on trying to see if the room is secretly ugly. This room is my safe space away from the loudness of the world. I sit here for hours sometimes, watching movies alone in the dark, clearing my head. Mom and Dad had this built for me years ago, and I decorated it myself. The ceiling is black and filled with dozens of lights. It kind of looks like stars inthe universe, which is what I was going for. There’s a soft gray carpet and there are three rows of armchair-sized cinema seats.
I like this room, and if Belle doesn’t, she can leave. The door is that way—
“You know, Chi used to have a massive Winnie-the-Pooh teddy but threw it out because it clashed with the persona she was going for in sophomore year,” Jamie says.
“Oh yeah? What persona was that?” Belle asks.
I smile tightly at the two of them.Thank you, Jamie.
“There was no persona, I just outgrew Winnie—”
“She told me herself; she needed to seem more like Blair Waldorf and less like Meg Griffin,” he continues.
“I had a Winnie phase too… Outgrew it when I was seven, though,” Belle says.
Jamie laughs, and I’m tempted to kick them both out.
“I think we all outgrew it before high school. Chi’s just special—”
“Movie’s starting, time to shut up now,” I say, pressing play abruptly. The hum of the characters’ voices quickly fills the space between me and the lovebirds. I try to concentrate on the start of the film, but in the corner of my vision, I see their hands join, and her head drops to his shoulder, throwing me off.
“Should I get some blankets?” I ask.
Jamie nods, staring at the screen intently. “Only two, Belle and I can share one.”
My heart plummets to the bottom of my stomach as I stand to grab the two blankets from the back closet. All plans for a future with Jamie are disintegrating before me. This evening was meant to remind Jamie of how suited we are for each other, not make him fallfurther for Belle. Why can’t he see that? I want to throw the blanket in his face.
“Here,” I say, handing Jamie the blanket. He mutters a “thanks,” already engrossed in the movie, so Belle reaches up for it. Our fingers brush together and I release the blanket quickly.
My heartbeat switches from faint to strong and present.
“Same time next month, and forever?” Jamie asks at the door, like he always does. A younger, smilier Jamie had asked me that after our first day discovering Marvel and its wonders.
“Your place?” I ask. He bobs his head, his curls echoing the movement.
