I freeze.
I feel Devon glance at me, but say nothing.
The edges of my vision start to crumble. I don’t know how I’m meant to feel about this, or react, so I don’t think; I just sit here and let it happen.
My face is wet and I hate myself for crying. He doesn’t deserve it.
“I need some fresh air,” I say, placing my mug on the ground before getting up and leaving Terrell’s room.
I feel more tears gather as I rush down the stairs and head outside.
The morning chill wraps around me, and I feel faint.
I can’t believe it.
I bring my wrist up, wiping my eyes again, as more tears spill.
I can’t believe Jamie’s dead.
“Chiamaka?” a voice says from behind. I turn back, quickly wiping my eyes.
“Yes?” I say as I turn to face Richards.
He looks sorry for me.
He shouldn’t. There’s nothing to be sorry for. Just a girl here crying over her awful dead ex–best friend.
“Wanna get out of here?” he asks.
I raise an eyebrow.Yes, please. “Where are you thinking of going?”
“Someplace quieter than here.”
I nod. Sounds like the sort of place I need.
We get to the beach nearby a while later. We decided to walk, since neither of us is exactly fit to drive right now.
I got changed into a nicer-looking shirt of Terrell’s, one withoutany graphics of weird superheroes, and Devon stayed in his PJs from last night. Terrell stayed behind, said he’d make some breakfast.
When we get to the beach, I take in how quiet it is. Like truly quiet. Like the whole world has disappeared.
The waves crash against the sand, and Devon takes a seat on the ground.
I’ve lived in this town most of my life, but never been here. I don’t think I even knew of its existence.
“How did you find out about this place?” I ask him, taking a seat next to him now.
“Used to come here a lot when I was younger, when things at home and at school got too much,” he says.
I nod.
I can see why. It’s really peaceful here. I sit up, crossing my legs. I’m about to tell him how nice it is here, but he’s speaking again.
“I tried to kill myself here, years ago,” he says.
I look at him. That’s… surprising.
“Oh,” I say. Because that’s all I can think to say in response to that.
