I get a twisted sense of joy, seeing him cry.
I knew I picked the right shoes.
“Rot in hell, Jamie,” I spit, before stepping away, grabbing my mask, and striding toward the exit of the library.
When I get out, I notice my legs shaking, my heart beating in my ears. I touch the strand of my hair where he placed the flame. Crusty and burned.
I can still smell it, the smoke. I can still feel his hands wrapped around me.
But regardless, I feel some of that power returning. The power I used to feel flood my body each morning when I’d walk into school and know I’d earned this position at the top. Now, I feel powerful because I’ve taken my voice back, stopped letting Jamie squash me into the image he has of me.
Of a weak girl he can push down and hurt without consequence.
That girl doesn’t exist. She never did.
41
DEVON
Thursday
“W-what the fuck do you mean?” I ask, moving away from Terrell.
“I didn’t want to hurt you. I never would hurt you. Some old guy came into my school, told me he’d pay for my sister’s medical bills if I watched over you, reported back to him.”
I feel so dizzy. This can’t be happening.
“This was after we first hung out, and at first I considered it. I just want my sister to get better. I was desperate, so I thought about doing it… did it for maybe a day, but quickly knew I couldn’t. I told the guy I wouldn’t do it. That I couldn’t do that to you. Then you started talking about your school, and I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to hate me, and the guy told me that if I mentioned him or our deal, things would get worse for you, so I just tried to help you guys out the best I could…”
My phone vibrates and I look away from Terrell and down at the message from Chiamaka.
She sent one a few minutes ago, saying the journalists had arrived.
They managed to come through the front entrance, I’m with them at the back door to the ballroom. Hurry.—C
“I have to go,” I say, feeling too sick to even look at Terrell right now.
“Von—”
“Just, stop! Okay?” I shout, not wanting to ruin the makeup Chiamaka did around my eyes. So I blink back the tears and I turn around, walking into the building and leaving Terrell alone outside.
I become a shadow, walking quickly, head down, mask on, finally reaching the back of the ballroom where Chiamaka is standing.
“Where are they?” I ask.
“They’ve taken their positions.” She lowers her mask. I notice bruising around her neck that looks like fingers.Did something happen?
There’s no time for me to breathe, let alone ask questions. She threads her fingers through mine and opens the back door.
Before I know it, we’re stepping through the doors and into the ballroom together.
42
CHIAMAKA
Thursday
No one notices us slip through. There’s a curtain by the back entrance, currently blocking us from being seen. Through a slit, I see everyone. They are all seated at large round tables, talking away to each other. The room is as beautiful as I’d always imagined it would be. High ceilings, diamond chandeliers, and tall picturesque windows looking out onto the ocean. It’s perfect. Feels like I’m in a movie.
