“Alright. I’ll see you later?” Myles got to his feet.
“Yeah.” Nolan pocketed his phone and grabbed his keys. When he hopped into his car, the ghost of Kai curled up close, a hoodie pulled over his head and wrapped around Nolan’s arm so that he could nap. The knife in his chest twisted a little harder, but he was grateful. If memory was all he could have of Kai, he’d take it.
Cherry was still working when he got home, so he took himself upstairs to avoid the worry in her eyes every time she looked at him lately. He took a quick shower, then got into bed. In his imagination, Kai snuggled closer, the way he always did whenhe wanted Nolan to read to him. This time, he pulled out Kai’s phone and flipped through it. It was like a favourite book now, and every time he wanted to relive a specific moment, he either opened up their chat to read his words or his photo app to relive every memory and feel every feeling as though it was the first time. He clicked the photo app this time. He needed to fall apart now because, later, when everyone was here, he wouldn’t be able to.
He scrolled through Kai’s pictures, staring at the laughing, smiling, smirking, beautiful face and let the rock grow in his throat, his eyes filling with hot tears. He didn’t try to stop them. When he was done, he closed his eyes and fell into a restless sleep.
Dinner was as awkwardas Nolan had anticipated, all of them acting like there wasn’t a fucking elephant in the room. Lucas and Marcus had met him at the door with grim faces. What Chris had told them, Nolan didn’t know. Katie was little tonight, sporting a pale orange dress in the Alice style she normally preferred when she was in her head. She tracked his movements with worried eyes, like she was sure that he would crack any moment. Didn’t play with her toy chest at all but curled near Chris for comfort.
Chris, for what it was worth, was more subdued than Nolan had expected. Nolan had been waiting for an “I know you wanted to see the best in him” speech, but it never came. Nolan was grateful. They didn’t know Kai. Nolan had read Kai’s chat with Liam, and the only way he could describe their relationship was like two siblings who scrapped at every opportunity but had each other’s backs at the end of the day. They were found family in the truest sense and, just like Matteo said, bonded for life. If he ever had a chance to repair what had beenbroken with Kai, it was a fact that he would have to somehow come to terms with.
They ate the Jamaican patties that Myles brought and made polite chitchat while Nolan counted down the minutes until he could be alone again. His phone chirped, and Nolan immediately recognized the sound of the security notification. Nolan pulled out his phone and swiped up.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” he growled menacingly at the image of Liam sitting on his front steps, casually leaning back, letting the sun hit his face. Nolan was at the door in an instant, ripping it open so hard he was surprised he hadn’t taken it clear off its hinges.
“Whatthefuckare you doing here?”
Liam tilted his head up, a smirk playing on his mouth. “Damn, that was faster than I expected. I barely sat down.”
“You’ve got some fucking balls on you, coming back here. Get up. Now!”
Liam dragged himself to his feet like he found Nolan tiresome. Nolan gave him a contemptuous once-over, from his bleach-blond hair and faded grey Metallica t-shirt to his skinny jeans and worn-out sneakers, hating everything about this kid. Nolan was keenly aware that Myles, Chris, Lucas, Marcus and Katie were crowded behind him. Myles had gotten most of the story out of him just out of necessity but had spared the rest of them the gory details.
“What makes you think I wouldn’t call the cops on you right this moment? There’s no Kai to protect you now, is there? You made sure of that.”
Liam leaned against the stair railing and laughed, incensing Nolan even further. “Oh, don’t put that shit on me. I’m fucked up enough. You were the one that shut that door in his face.” He nodded towards said door, grinning at their audience. Nolan’s face flamed as shame, grief and remorse lit his blood on fire.
“And why did that happen, hmm?” He grabbed Liam by the front of his oversized t-shirt, dragging him in so that their faces were mere inches apart, daring him to admit what he’d done. The curl of Liam’s lip made Nolan want to put a fist through his face, but he knew, wherever he was, Kai wouldn’t want that.
“I told him you would never keep him. He wouldn’t listen, but he knows now, I guess.” Every word was a punch in the gut. That this little shit had been right about anything, even if he’d manufactured the reason, galled him.
“After you sabotaged him. Sounds like you were jealous, Liam. Is that why you did it? Were you jealous?” Nolan demanded mockingly.
Anger flared in the younger man’s eyes, his whole face twisting with it. Liam’s hands came up, shoving Nolan with surprising force. His grip slackened, and Liam shoved him again, breaking free.
“Yeah, I was fucking jealous. You stole my whole fucking family, and I couldn’t have that,” he spit, pure loathing on his face.
Nolan stared at him, dumbfounded. “I didn’t steal shit from you, Liam. I never made Kai choose between us.”
Liam scoffed and looked away, pulling something from his back pocket. It took a second for Nolan to recognize the envelope in his hand.
“Yeah, whatever. Tell yourself whatever you want.” He shoved the envelope into Nolan’s chest, and Nolan reached up to keep it from falling. “Minus five hundred for pain and suffering or whatever.” He held up two middle fingers as he backed down the stairs.
“Where is he, Liam?” Nolan asked before he could get too far.
“How the fuck am I supposed to know? There was an overpass on Queen that he liked. Check there if you want.” Hesmirked at the look of alarm on Nolan’s face, turned around and walked away.
Nolan watched him go, his mind racing. When he turned back to the door, it was to find Katie front and centre, her whole body filled with tension and looking like she was going to blow a fuse any second.
“I knew he wouldn’t just leave. I knew it! You sent him away!” she exploded.
“Katie, you don’t understand.” Nolan started.
“I do understand. He told me! He told me that day by the pool!”
“What did he tell you, sweetheart?” Chris asked.
“He told me that he loved you, but he was worried it was too soon and you wouldn’t say it back and you sent him away and broke his heart!”
