Kai sighed but closed his eyes, burrowing his head into the pillow.
21
They drove back to the city after breakfast the next day, Kai cradling the box of treats, committed to giving it to the kid, but they’d run from one dead end to another. They’d driven in a grid all around the area they’d been in last night, and when that hadn’t worked, they’d taken to their feet. Kai had taken Nolan to some of his old spots. He’d run into a few people that he knew, but no one was able to identify the kid from last night.
Everyone they’d met was from Kai’s days on the streets, most of them still experiencing homelessness. Kai stopped to talk, but Nolan’s eyes were on the people that walked past, eyes averted. It fired every protective instinct he had, thinking of Kai, sitting on a corner, needing help, while people walked past him, pretending, sometimes wishing, he didn’t exist. How many times had Nolan been that person? How many times had he failed to notice? When Kai was finished talking, Nolan opened his wallet, offering what cash he had, knowing he’d never make that mistake again.
“It was always a long shot anyway,” Kai said morosely.They’d stopped in Chinatown for something to eat. Kai slouched in his chair, twisting his noodles in his bowl, looking glum.
“I’m sorry, baby. What do you want to do?”
Kai sighed and shoved a hand restlessly through his hair. “Nothing. It is what it is. I’m sure he’s fine. I just hate that, if it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t have been in that situation. He would have gotten what he could and been out of there. The only reason he stayed was because he was making sure I was okay.”
“What? You didn’t tell me that.” Nolan’s guilt from last night resurfaced, thinking about the cascading chain of events that he’d started.
“Yeah. He stopped to ask if I needed help. Asked me, like, three times. It’s such bullshit. He told me they lock the dumpsters.” Kai shook his head bitterly.
“Have you ever had to do that?”
“Yeah, like, last week.” Kai laughed sarcastically. “Do you know how much food people throw out for no reason?”
Nolan jolted with surprise. He had expected Kai to say yes, but as a thing of the past, not as a thing he did now.
“I don’t want you doing that anymore,” he said automatically.
“Why? Because you can’t have a boyfriend who dumpster dives?” Kai asked defensively, a hard edge in his voice.
“Because I have a boyfriend who doesn’t have to. You could get hurt or you could get sick. This isn’t like buying Lego or fancy clothes. If you need groceries, I will buy you fucking groceries.”
Kai stared him down, but Nolan didn’t flinch. He leaned back in his chair and waited him out, ready to die on this hill.
Kai’s mouth curved into a wicked smile. “Okay, fine. You want to do something that’ll make me feel better?”
“Name it, baby.” Nolan grinned, daring him to bring it on.
“Alright. Let’s get out of here.”
Kai draggedhim to a grocery store, seemingly committed to testing how much Nolan was willing to buy. He didn’t know the limit did not exist, but he was willing to let Kai find that out for himself. He loaded the cart with canned soup, canned beans, boxes and boxes of Kraft dinner, and a shit ton of packaged soup.
“Sweetheart, that stuff is poison. You should not be eating that much processed food.”
Kai looked at him askance. “I didn’t realize you were such a snob. Just trust me. Damn, we forgot to hit the cereal aisle. We need another cart.”
“I’m not a snob,” Nolan said, mildly affronted. “Fine, but we’re hitting the produce section after that.”
“Fine, but we have to hit the ice cream aisle after that.” Nolan chuckled but agreed. Eight bunches of bananas, a flat of berries and ten boxes of Chapman’s ice cream, in all of the flavours, later, Nolan started suspecting this wasn’t for Kai, but he didn’t say anything because Kai’s face was lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. He’d never seen him so energetic. He could practically see the wheels turning in his brain as he dumped ice cream scoops, cones and chocolate syrup into the cart.
It wasn’t until they got to the cash register that he saw Kai falter, for a second, looking unsure of himself, so Nolan planted a hard kiss on his mouth.
“I don’t know what you’re up to but I’m here for it.”
Kai grinned at him, reassured, and by the time they’d loaded everything into the SUV, taking down the seats to make room, Kai was vibrating with excitement again.
When they pulled up to the address that Kai had punchedinto his GPS, they were greeted by a massive, two-storey house that looked like it had been originally built in the sixties but appeared to have been recently converted into something else. The front yard was lined with raised garden beds that were well on their way to summer growth, greens spilling from tomato cages and vines winding up long ropes to tall trellises. There were a few adults working in the yard and about ten kids, all looking like they were either teens or in double digits at least. Nolan automatically spotted Matteo in the group where he was standing talking with a tall black man, both of them wearing heavy duty gardening gloves. Matteo’s attention automatically caught on them as they reversed into the double wide driveway that ran alongside the house.
“Jay’s here! Come on, come on, come on.” Nolan’s attention caught on that name, knowing he was one of Kai’s roommates, pleasuring flaring at that chance to see more of Kai’s world. Kai hurried and Nolan laughed. Kai leapt from the car, running around to greet Matteo as Nolan opened the door and popped the trunk.
“Hey, man, what’s up? You okay?” he heard Matteo ask.
