Five back yet?
Me
Yeah, he just got back.
Morticia
And here you are texting. It seems he’s lost his touch.
Me
That man will never lose his touch. He’s with the guys.
Morticia
So I just got a text from your mum.
Me
Oh God, I did too. Branson found her special box.
Morticia
La, la, la, la, la. I’ve covered my ears. You know I never discuss your mother’s special box.
Me
If I have to hear about it, you do too.
Morticia
Seriously, the woman is 61. Are special boxes still needed at that age?
Me
LOL. I fucking hope so, Lil. I mean, if I had a special box, I’d plan on using the items in it until I couldn’t work them anymore.
Morticia
Okay, so let’s move on to why she texted me. I cannot continue with the current conversation. She told me she’s made me a special sculpture.
Me
Yes, she has.
Morticia
Is it a dick? You know I’m not about those dick sculptures.
Me
My lips are sealed.
Morticia
Ah, no, besties don’t get to do that.
Me