“I get that,” I say, “but I think I have it in me to do it again. I think together we can get through anything.” I truly believe that. Havoc gives me strength in the times I don’t think I can go on. And I know I do the same for him.
His eyes keep searching mine and I give him the space to think. Finally, he says, “If we have a boy, no fuckin’ way is my dad getting anywhere near naming him.”
The tidal wave of emotion that swept across my heart grows so big it fills my entire body. Every inch of skin, every nerve ending, every finger, every toe feels it.
I cannot love this man any more than I do.
I love that he knows for me to have brought this up I’ve already clocked enough hours of thought on it to know it’s what I want, and that I don’t require him to get into an in-depth conversation over it. He will if I want that or if he senses any doubt, but he knows and trusts my heart in the same way I know and trust his, and mostly leaves me to be the one to decide what I need and want.
I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him slowly and deeply, letting him feel what I’m feeling. When I end it, I say, “Agreed. I love your dad, but he has the worst ideas for boy names.”
When we were pregnant with Ruby, we didn’t know if we were having a boy or a girl. Al came up with a range of boy names for us and all of them were bad. Birch was his top pick. Havoc had let him run with the name suggestions, but at that point he put his foot down and said no fuckin’ way was he naming his son Birch.
I’d found the whole thing amusing, but I agree with him that his dad can’t be involved in naming our child.
His hands find my ass like they always do. “Also, I want time with you and Ruby before we do this.”
“I do too. How long are you thinking?”
“At least a year.”
I tighten my arms around his neck. “See, this is why you’re the perfect husband. You think the same way I do.”
His brows arrow. “That’s not true. We sure as shit didn’t think the same way yesterday morning.”
“Are you ever going to let that go?”
“Fuck no.”
“You need to. You were wrong and I was right. End of story. And”—I brush my lips over his—“if you ever want my mouth around your dick again, you’ll acknowledge that I did in fact ask you to buy milk, not bread.”
“Baby, you fuckin’ didn’t. And we both know you couldn’t stop yourself from sucking my dick even if you tried.”
I sent Havoc to the supermarket yesterday morning to buy three things, milk being one of them, bread not even getting a look in on that list. I’d lost my shit when he came home without the milk because I needed it for the banana bread I was baking. Banana bread that I needed to take to a play group that Ruby and I were attending for the first time. Banana bread that would ensure we were welcomed into the group with open arms.
Yes, I admit I was a little ridiculous over the whole thing.
Banana bread doesn’t have that power and really, who cares if those women didn’t welcome us. My hormones were out of control and when Havoc pointed that out, I fully lost my shit at him.
We had the kind of argument we barely ever have. In the end, he had to be the one to put his weapons down. I did apologise to him hours later for losing my temper, but I still made it clear he was wrong. Being the smart man he is, he didn’t argue again. Which was a good thing, because I really was right.
He smacks my ass. “We need to go. Your mother will be blowing up your phone again any minute.”
I keep my hands around his neck, intent on savouring every second of this moment with him. “That’s because she adores you and is always looking for ways to get you to her house. She said she couldn’t get hold of Nash to come over, but I bet she didn’t actually call him.”
“Well, whatever the fuck she’s smoking, we need to get some so I can give it to you the next time you try to rip my balls from my body.”
I grin. “I love you, Havoc Caldwell, even if you don’t listen to me when I tell you the shopping list.”
He shakes his head. “I love you too, darlin’, but trust me when I tell you, I’m not fuckin’ backing down the next time you’re wrong.”
I keep grinning. “We both know you’re all talk. You love me enough to let me win even when you know I’m wrong. Just sayin’ though that I wasn’t wrong.”
“You’ll be the fuckin’ death of me, woman,” he growls right before giving me his lips again. He kisses me like he wants nothing more than to strip me and fuck me. When he finally lets me go, his eyes are full of heat and regret. “Get your ass out to the bike. And I’ve changed my mind. We’re not having any cake tonight.”
10
HYDE & MONROE
