Rev cut another slice.
“I’m not telling you to forgive her. She excluded you in front of everyone. Be angry.”
“I am.”
“Good. But know what you’re angry at. Cosima has power, but not as much as people think.”
“She had enough to throw me out.”
Rev shrugged. “She’s just the one they made do it.”
I looked toward the door I had come through.
“She could still have chosen not to.”
“Yes,” Rev said. “And sometimes she does. That’s another reason why nobody trusts her.”
This time, I took the apple slice she offered.
12
Ihad watched Astra Verita open the east tower door like she meant to make everyone inside admit it was locked to her whether they wanted to say it out loud or not.
Cosima Verraine did what Cosima had been asked to do.
She turned Astra away in front of the first-years who had passed, in front of Caspian Ashford, in front of me.
Astra looked at Cosima once.
Then at me.
I had been standing by the window with an excellent understanding of my own uselessness in this situation.
I stayed where I was.
Following would have made the room too interested.Following would have given Cosima more work to do and Quill more to write down later.
Knowing that did nothing for my dignity.
It made it feel like cowardice with better manners.
At six the next morning, the Mark on my right shoulder started weeping, and my arm gave out.
The apple had made it halfway to my mouth before my muscles just stopped working.
Not pain exactly.
A hard, humiliating nothing.
For a minute, the apple stayed there, suspended between hand and teeth, while the clock above me ticked on with obscene confidence, like it had all the time in the world.
Maybe it did, but I didn’t.
My left hand took over. Lowered the apple to my knee. Pretended this was a choice a person could make with dignity.
I looked out over the railing because looking at my hand any longer would make me throw the apple, and my left arm was still good enough to make that someone’s problem if it hit them.
The quad below was usually empty at six.
