Still, I can’t stop thinking about this morning—her standing in my doorway, hair twisted up like she barely cared, voice softened by sleep, that open look in her eyes hitting me like a low drumbeat in my chest.A moment that could have split something wide open if I’d let it.
The thing about her is that she’s never looked at me as if I’m broken or as if I’m someone famous who she can take advantage of.Nope.In fact, this morning, she looked at me like maybe I could be trusted—even chosen.
And that’s something I can’t afford.
I’m not made for situations like this.Actually, I’ve spent years avoiding them.Moments where someone hands me their trust without hesitation, like I might actually know what to do with it.Their mornings.Their silence.Their grief—even their feelings.
Their breath against my shoulder when the rest of the world gets too loud.I’m not built to carry someone else’s weight when I’m still bracing under my own.
Especially not when it’s wrapped up in a woman who fits into my life so effortlessly, that I forget she was never meant to stay.
Julian leans back, studying me with that maddening calm that only comes from having witnessed every single one of my spectacular failures.“I haven’t seen you like this since?—”
“Don’t.”My voice cuts sharper than I mean for it to.“We’re not doing nostalgia hour.Stella was an escort Connor hired, and I was a stupid nineteen-year-old with too much money, fame, and not enough sense.”
Julian lifts his hands in surrender, but his eyes don’t budge.“Fine.Still—something’s different.That woman ...she might actually be good for you.”
I nearly laugh.It comes out closer to a scoff.“You want a love story?Go get one.I’m not signing up for your Hallmark redemption arc—not that it worked for you either, did it?”
A muscle in his jaw tics.Just once.“I swore off that shit for a reason.”His voice tightens, rough at the edges—like it’s scraping against something he still can’t swallow.“I thought I lovedher.I was wrong.I almost died because of that mistake.You bringing it up every time you’re cornered doesn’t help.”
My stomach knots.That was low, and we both know it.The short version he offers people is a rewrite.The real one involves betrayal, a fake pregnancy, and a woman who tried to cash out on his life.
“Sorry,” I say.Not just because I should—but because I mean it.
He exhales through a crooked smile.“You’re like a wild animal, man.Always snapping because you’re terrified someone might stick around.”
I turn my face away, jaw clenched.He’s not wrong.That’s what stings the most.
The worst part?Mara’s already closer than she should be—and she hasn’t done anything to wedge herself in.She’s just ...there.Bright, happy, and impossible to ignore.Easy to open the door to.
I don’t know why.
And that makes me want to shut it faster.
Julian tosses his keys in the air, catching them like this is just any other day.“Anyway, I gotta go.Roderick’s gonna chew me out for being late, and I’m blaming you.”
“Why?Because you can’t mind your own business?”
“Exactly.”He grins.“Try not to combust while I’m gone.”
The door clicks shut behind him, and the apartment collapses into quiet.The silence creeps in slowly, dragging everything I’ve been trying to outrun back to the surface.
Last night comes back in fragments—her tears on my shirt, her breath warming my throat, the way she curled into me like it was instinct.The way I stayed still.The way I didn’t want to move.
I press my palm to my forehead, as if I can push the image out of my skull by force.But it lingers.It always does.Because for a few seconds, she felt safe with me.And worse—I felt safe with her.
Then I remember Mila’s voice—soft and matter-of-fact:You stayed.Like that’s normal for me.Like it means something I don’t want to name.
Maybe that’s the sign I’ve been waiting for.
Maybe it’s time to pull back before I want more.
Before I start craving something I don’t know how to live with.
Because if I fall for her—if I let myself want Mara, really want her—and it breaks me?
I won’t survive it.
