Page 48 of Room Serviced


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Sloane

What? Obvious how?

Fuck, did we leave condoms in a shot or something?

oh god can you see the vibrators in my suitcase

Max

WAIT tell me more about the vibrators in your suitcase

vibratorS? With an S? For a two-night trip?

Sloane

maxwell golding I swear to god

PLEASE edit out the condoms and/or underwear hanging from a ceiling fan

Max

Our rooms didn’t HAVE ceiling fans, no condoms in a shot

My lawyer is also my friend Zach, who says it’s “just so fucking obvious,” that’s all

Sloane

Oh, lol

I’m impressed at your lawyer’s fuckdar

Max

I’ll tell him, he’ll be thrilled

Sloane

BTW today I told one of my coworkers about my ghost hunting vacation and wound up hearing for thirty minutes about the ghost car that he SWEARS is in his garage. I blame you for this

Max

I’m driving back IMMEDIATELY to do a video on the ghost car, tell me everything

Sloane

Sometimes he hears a mysterious vrooming sound at night

Max

Spooky

Chapter Fourteen

Because they were a bunch of fucking dorks, Sloane’s friends threw a viewing party. There weren’t, like, invitations or anything, but they got YouTube up on the TV at Ronnie’s house, bought beer, popped popcorn, and crammed five people onto a couch and a recliner. They all cheered and applauded every time Sloane came on the screen, which she found both heartwarming and horrifying, and paused for five minutes to argue about which laundry symbol was on the pentagram.

“Wait,” Ronnie said when the video finished. “So, who did all that stuff?”

“Ghosts, duh,” said Leo, who was sprawled in the armchair like bones were a suggestion, not an anatomical fact. “Were you paying any attention at all?”