"Yes."
She laughs again. That same bitter sound from before.
"Must be nice."
I want to tell her that she could have that too. That love isn't reserved for people who stay in the family. That she deserves happiness and healing and someone who sees her.
But I'm the wrong person to say it.
I'm not her happy ending.
I'm the complication she's trying to survive.
"Marina—"
"Eat your soup," she says. She unfolds her legs. Stands up. "It's getting cold."
She walks out of the bedroom before I can respond.
I stare at the doorway for a long moment. Then I pick up the spoon.
The soup is lukewarm now. But I eat it anyway.
She made it for me.
Marina
I close the bathroom door behind me and lean against it.
My heart is pounding. Which is stupid. Nothing happened. We just talked. He ate soup and told me about people I barely know getting married and having babies.
Normal conversation.
Except nothing about this is normal.
I push off the door and turn on the shower. The pipes groan before water sputters out. I wait for it to heat up, watching steam slowly fill the small space.
I strip off my clothes and step into the shower. The hot water hits my shoulders and I close my eyes.
Mafia people falling in love. Having children. Building families.
While killing other people.
The two things exist side by side in their world. Violence and tenderness. Blood and baby showers. It's not right. None of it is right.
But this world has never been right.
I learned that two years ago when a bullet tore through my hand and I watched Sophia nearly die on my bed. I learned it when I woke up in a hospital bed with nerve damage that would never fully heal. I learned it when Dante sat beside me for days and I told him to leave and he actually left.
I can't change any of it.
I can't make the Sartori family stop being what they are. I can't undo the violence or the death or the complicated web of loyalty and blood that holds them together. I can't judge them for finding love in the middle of all that darkness.
Who am I to judge anyone?
I'm the woman who saved a mafia man's life.
I'm already complicit.
