Because I don’t know how to be here, naked in every sense of the word, and admit that I still love him.
That I never stopped loving him.
And that, more than anything, I wish with all my torn up little heart that he still loved me, too.
Benji sits there. Stunned.
Then, he just nods.
Once.
Tight.
Like he’s locking something down inside himself.
And that—that hurts more than anything else.
“I’m gonna—” I gesture toward the bathroom. “Just need to use the restroom.”
He doesn’t stop me.
Doesn’t say anything.
I slip out of the bed, wrapping the sheet tighter around me as I head into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
The second it shuts, I sag against it.
“God,” I whisper.
My reflection stares back at me, eyes too bright, lips still swollen, skin flushed.
I look like a woman who just got everything she ever wanted.
And lost it again.
I take a breath.
Then another.
Pull myself together the best I can.
By the time I step back out into the room—he’s gone.
The bed is rumpled.
The air still warm with him.
But he’s gone.
There’s a note on the pillow.
Went to check on Alex. Keep the door locked.
I stare at it for a long second.
Then crawl back into the bed, pulling the sheet around me like armor.
The exhaustion hits fast.
