I dial my sister’s number and lift the phone to my ear, wrapping a loose thread around my finger before I pull it loose. I haven’t spoken to her in a while, and I don’t intend to tell her about the attack that saw Nina and I kidnapped. That would only worry her, and besides, I’m not sure if I can even think about it for that long without having some kind of panic attack.
She answers after a few rings, and, just like before, I can hear her cooking something. I smile slightly; that little taste of normalcy, after the mess that my life has been, feels like a salve to my soul, however brief.
“Hey,” she greets me. “Haven’t heard from you in a while, you had me worried...”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I reply, pinching my nose between my fingertips. I can recall now how freaked she was when she found out about who I was working for, and I didn’t mean to leave her in the lurch. But, as it turned out, she was entirely right.
“You okay?”
“Fine,” I lie swiftly, but she sees through it at once.
“You don’t sound fine.”
“I didn’t realize that I could sound one way or another in particular...”
“Well, you can, and you do,” she replies. “So what’s going on with you?”
I part my lips, trying to find the words to even begin to tell her what has been going on in my head. I’m not sure she would believe me even if I were to lay it out in complete honesty, but then, given how frantic she was when she first found out about Alexei, maybe she would. I decide to withhold some of the details, at least for now, make sure that I don’t give away more than I intend to.
“Uh, things are... okay,” I reply, after a long pause. “Alexei, he brought in some new security detail over the last few days, and it’s been... tough.”
That’s putting it lightly. I can almost see that reporter’s instinct in my sister’s eyes, the way she cocks her eyebrow when she senses there is something going on just out of sight that she wants to dig into.
“Tough? Tough how?”
“Tough like... like it reminds me of home.”
She sucks in a breath. “Yeah, that’s not ideal,” she mutters. “Have you spoken to him about it? Figured out if there’s a way you could avoid all of this?”
“I mean, I’ve tried,” I reply. “But it’s not like he’s particularly keen on listening to me, all things considered.”
“Seems like a guy like that doesn’t appreciate being told what to do, huh?” she adds. “Has Nina noticed? I mean, she must have, right? You didn’t even have a working lock on the front door of your old apartment building, she’s not used to being kept anywhere for that length of time...”
“Not really,” I admit. “She’s become pretty good friends with his son, and I think that’s distracting her enough for now. But...”
She knows what I’m thinking and fills in the blanks for me before I can finish it up. “But it’s bringing back some memories for you, huh? Mom and Dad locking us away and saying it’s for the best?”
I chew my lip, flopping back on to my bed. “Yeah...”
She sighs heavily. “Look, babe, I know exactly what you’re going through,” she explains. “And you can’t let that man get under your skin like that. Even if he has to keep the place safe, you need to live your life. You work for him, but that doesn’t mean you’re his damn prisoner...”
“No, I know,” I agree. “And I’ve tried to bring it up with him, but it just feels like it’s falling on deaf ears. He doesn’t want to hear it. He’s too worried about what might happen…” I stop myself in my tracks. I’ve already said enough. But she spots my sudden reticence and goes searching for more.
“If what? Has he said something to you?” she asks with concern. “Were there threats? Attacks? I told you, you would be safer out of that house...”
“No,” I lie quickly. She doesn’t need to hear about all the gory details of what happened when we were taken, I know it would only frighten her, and she doesn’t deserve to have to worry about it when we are out and the man who took us is already dead. But...
“But he’s acting like it’s only a matter of time before the kids are targeted,” I reply. “And I don’t know if that’s true and he’s doing the right thing, or...”
“Or if he’s just coming up with reasons to keep you under lock and key,” she finishes up for me. “Yeah, I get it. I’d go crazy if I couldn’t live my life...”
“But I guess this is what I signed up for when I took the job, right?” I reason, half with her and half with myself. “I knew it was going to be demanding, what with having to sign all those forms before I came here.”
“And you can’t sign away your freedom on any form, no matter how iron-clad it is,” she replies firmly. “There’s got to be a happy medium, right, where you can take care of the kids without putting them in danger and live without being watched at every turn.”
I feel a prickle on the back of my neck, and suddenly glance around the bedroom, as though there might be security cameras watching over me right now. I had practically insisted that my room be left untouched, and mercifully Alexei had agreed to that, but I wasn’t sure I entirely trusted that I wasn’t being listened to in here.
“Yeah, I know,” I sigh. “I just don’t know how to get that through to him. Feels like I’m...”
