A sour feeling swirls in my stomach at the thought of another person touching her body the way I did, eventhough I have no right to be jealous. We haven’t been intimate in two years, and I didn’t expect her to be a nun in that time, which leads us to the testing question.
Underneath the legitimate reason for having “the talk” with her, I not so desperately need to know if Alex was one of those people. I know Sloane wouldn’t have cheated on me, however, there was a sliver of doubt when she ghosted me. I’m not sure how I will feel if Sloane was unfaithful because I promised myself and her that we’d look forward and not back. I forgave her, and I meant it.
The whole Alex thing is still a thorn in my boot, though. That’s always been my problem, really. It’s not the forgiving, but the forgetting I struggle with.
She looks so fucking beautiful. Her hair’s falling out of the tiny ponytail she wore for the run. There are wispy ends plastered to her jaw. She’s flushed and she’s studying me with that little crease above her nose, which means she’s already bracing for something she doesn’t want to hear.
“Sloane,” I start, my mouth dry as a charcoal pencil. “Can I ask you something before we…uh, before this goes further?”
She laughs nervously. “Is this about the gummy worms? Because if you’re looking for them, I already took them out of your bra.”
It’s such a perfectly Sloane thing to have said that it nearly derails me.
“No, not that. Well, yes, but…ugh. Listen, I want you. Badly. But, well, I’ve slept with people, and I just want both of us to have all our, uh, cards on the table regarding safe sex and, you know, testing and stuff.”
There is a heartbeat of silence. Her face goes through a slow parade of surprise, relief, and then hyper-focus. After another beat, she closes her eyes for a second, and when she opens them again, it’s with a look that means she’s about to be both honest and more than a little sarcastic.
“Oh my god, I thought you were going to say you didn’t want to sleep with me.”
The idea I wouldn’t want her is absurd!
Tutting, I shake my head. “Of course I want to sleep with you. Christ, Sloane, I want nothing more.”
“But?” she counters.
“We have to be safe, and…and I think we should be honest with each other. I’m tested regularly.”
Her cheeks grow red. “I’ve been tested too.”
Well, that answers my question then, doesn’t it? Sloane has been with other people.
“O-okay. That’s good.”
Sloane bites her lip and can’t seem to look me in the eye. A dread settles in the pit of my stomach.
“Did Jenna talk to you?”
What? That’s not what I expected her to say.
“The last time we spoke seriously was the day she told me you were back. Jenna’s been MIA for a couple of weeks, which makes me think she’s got a special kind of someone.” I grin. “I can’t wait to roast her about it.”
Sloane rolls her eyes. “And you wonder why she’s MIA?”
Shrugging, I don’t reply. Jenna is my kid sister, and it’s my duty to bug the shit out of her. Plus, I always said I’d get my revenge over her horrific teenage years once she was older and had a boyfriend.
“Back to the conversation though. Why did you ask if she’d spoken to me?”
Sloane is back to looking nervous again. “Because she asked me something and I answered.”
“Blimey, that sure clears it up,” I deadpan. “Sloane, just tell me.”
Huffing, she straightens her back and clasps her hands in her lap. “When I got back, Jenna told me you’d seen a few girls since we’d broken up. Then she asked if I’d been with anyone.”
“And?”
“And I said yes. Just one person, six months ago.”
My eyes close because I know the name which is about to slip from her lips. “Alex,” I state.
