“We’re done,” he said.
His voice sounded cold and distant in his own ears, almost like he was a totally different person. He could see from the look on Mikey’s face he didn’t, or couldn’t, quite believe what he was hearing.
He’s so used to never hearing someone tell him no he doesn’t know what to do,he thought.
“Please,” Mikey whispered, voice barely audible. “Don’t do this to us, Luke. Just…let me explain.”
“I don’t want explanations,” he said. “I want you to get the fuck out of my truck. I never want to see you again.”
Unfortunately, there were all sorts of questions that still needed answering, particularly where the concert was concerned. Were they even going to be able to do it? Did he even want to be able to do it? Even through all of his pain and anger he could picture the anguished look on Brenda’s face when he poured cold water all over the idea that was supposed to save NACA.
I’ll deal with all of that later,he thought.For right now I just don’t want to be in the same room as Mikey Smiles.
He was tempted to say something to fill in the silence that now seemed to suffocate both of them, but he didn’t. He wantedMikey to feel the full weight of what he’d done. He wasn’t going to make his life any easier by speaking into the silence.
Finally, it seemed to really occur to Mikey he meant what he said and so, with a last look at Luke–a look that broke his heart–he got out of the truck and left, taking a part of Luke with him.
As he drove backto the cabin, the full enormity of what was going on hit him. He knew he wasn’t just upset about the fact it had been Mikey who’d set the reporters on his trail, even though that was the bulk of it. He was also upset because his outing had ruined his relationship with Aunt Patty, and learning Mikey had been indirectly responsible for it brought all of those unpleasant memories to the surface.
I guess my relationship with Aunt Patty is just another thing Mikey Smiles took away from me,he thought.
Indeed, nothing about his relationship with Aunt Patty had been the same since their dreadful conversation just after he was outed. If the two of them happened to be at his parents’ house at the same time, they made extra effort not to come face-to-face with each other. The pain Luke felt every time this happened was almost unbearable, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as what it would be like to actually have to face her, let alone have a conversation.
It never ceased to bother him and, though therapy had helped to make it a bit more bearable, the pain of her abandonment was always lurking in the back of his mind. Now it was all on the surface, and before he knew it he was crying.
Finally, he managed to get the tears under control and got back to the cabin but, rather than being given a chance to just relax, he was barraged by a flurry of phone calls. He didn’t even have to look at his caller ID to know who was calling: Bryce and Katrina were clearly tag-teaming him, both because he’d stood them up and, presumably, because they’d found out about whathad gone down between him and Mikey. He had no ideahowthey would’ve found out such a thing, but he knew they both had their ways of finding out anything they wanted to know.
They’re just going to have to live with not talking to me,he thought.Because I don’t want to talk toanyoneright now.
However, the more they called, the more he found himself wanting to talk to someone, anyone, in order to work through some of his feelings. And so, reluctantly, he called them both back and, within the hour, they were there at the cabin, with pizza and pop and boxes of candy bars. It was what the doctor ordered.
Soon enough, they were all stuffed, and it was time for the beer and wine part of the evening. As the alcohol did its work and Luke felt like he could actually talk a little more openly about what he was feeling, Katrina and Bryce nodded along. They did so with such enthusiasm he was foolish enough to think, just for a second, they were actually agreeing with everything he said.
“And so,” he finished with what he hoped was a flourish, “that’s why Mikey Smiles is terrible and why I’m not going to have anything further to do with him.”
Even in his own ears the words sounded false, like he was just playacting at being angry. In his heart of hearts he knew he was more hurt than furious, that once the initial feeling of being royally pissed off had passed his mood was going to sink so low he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to get out of such a funk.
It was clear from the looks on both of their faces they were thinking pretty much the same thing, and he wasn’t sure whether he felt vindicated or frustrated by the fact they could read him so easily.
“Sweetie,” Katrina said, as always being the first to confront him about the lies he told himself. “Are you really sure anger is all you’re feeling, or is there something else going on?”
He knew what was going on, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it.
“It’s because of your aunt, isn’t it?”
Luke hated the way his lip started to tremble, hated the way the feelings started to bubble up inside of him, threatening to overwhelm him totally and leave him a sobbing mess on the floor.
It was all too much.
“Oh sweetie, come here,” Katrina said and, for the second time that day, Luke actually let himself lose control and reallycry.
When Bryce reached over and added himself to the hug he lost it even more, and it wasn’t long before he was making a snot-soaked mess of Katrina’s blouse. To her credit, though, she didn’t say anything about it. She just let him cry out his feelings of hurt and abandonment, and her kindness meant the world.
Finally, though, he’d had enough crying, or at least as much as he was capable of crying at the moment. He leaned back up and, at seeing just how much of a mess he’d made on Katrina’s chest, he actually laughed.
She looked down and started chuckling, too.
“Well, Luke Carter,” she said. “When you decide to let go you don’t go halfway, do you? I think I’m going to have to have this blouse dry-cleaned.”
