Mikey squeezed him back. “I love you, too. I’m not going anywhere, Luke Carter. Not this time.”
A warm feeling took up residence in Luke’s belly, and tears pricked at his eyes. He opened his mouth to say…well, he didn'tknowwhathe was going to say, exactly…but Mikey was already asleep.
Probably just as well,he thought, planting a soft kiss on Mikey’s forehead.I’d just have ended up ruining an otherwise really great moment, anyway.
Pulling Mikey even closer to him he finally let himself drift off.
Luke wasn’tsurprised he woke up first. Mikey might’ve matured a lot in the last decade, but he had never been and was never going to be a morning person.
Luke laid in bed and looked over to where Mikey was still asleep. He couldn’t believe how happy he was, and it made him nervous. Though he’d grown a lot in the last year–hell, in the lastweek–he was still afraid of actually letting himself be happy. He knew what tended to happen.
You get hurt,he thought.You put your heart into the hands of someone else, and they end up breaking it into a thousand pieces. He did it ten years ago. What’s to stop him from doing it this time, too?
Even as he had the thought, though, he knew he wasn’t being fair to Mikey. The years had changed him, sanding away the more selfish elements of Mikey’s personality, leaving behind a person Luke could love without reservation.
If he let himself.
Well, the sexisterrific,he thought.In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever had sex that good.
It certainly helped that both of them were versatile. Luke had gotten very tired of hooking up with guys who were so hung up on who did what in the bedroom they weren’t able to have any real fun at all. Most of them assumed Luke was a top and, while he did enjoy topping quite a lot, he also enjoyed being on thebottom, too. He liked the vulnerability it entailed, and he looked forward to bottoming for Mikey. It was one of those things he’d thought a lot about since they’d started to reconnect, what it would feel like to have Mikey inside of him, to know he was comfortable opening up in the most intimate way he could.
Mikey seemed to sense he was looking at him, because his eyes flickered open, and he smiled.
By now Luke had relearned the many different smiles Mikey had: the shit-eating grin he liked to use when he was trying to charm someone; the one that was pure joy, when he was caught up in a really happy moment; the fake one he put on whenever he didn’t really want to admit how he was feeling.
And then this one, which Luke thought might just be for him. It was the smile he thought he loved the most. It turned his knees to jelly and made him feel like an entire battalion of butterflies was trying to get out of his stomach. It made him feel like a teenager again, all giddy and stupid with love.
At the same time, he was always aware of just how much time had passed since the two of them had been together. They’d both done a lot of growing up, and as painful as the process had obviously been for both of them, it had made them into better, stronger men, men who could build a life together.
Luke regretted all the wasted years, and he thought about what it might’ve been like if the two of them had turned their high school romance into something more meaningful, something more lasting. Sure, they might have ended up parting ways anyway, whether because of the stresses of their personal lives or for some other reason, but maybe they’d have found a way to make it all work, maybe they could’ve been trailblazers instead of only belatedly coming to terms with who they were, both as individuals and together.
Luke knew he shouldn’t dwell on it, but it wasn’t easy to put these thoughts away. As his therapist always told him, though,everyone was a work in progress. Learning not to stubbornly dwell so much on the past was something he was just going to have to keep working on.
I really am an idiot sometimes,he thought.And I swear my stubbornness is going to be the death of me one of these days.
“You look like you’re a million miles away,” Mikey said, voice a little muzzy with sleep. “Is everything okay?”
I don’t know what I’m going to do about this man,he thought, and rather than try to find something clever to say he just leaned forward and gave Mikey a deep kiss. Mikey hesitated just a fraction of a second before he returned the favor, and soon the two of them were getting hot and heavy, clearly building up to another round of fucking.
Luke let the pleasure take him away.
When they were finishedwith their most recent round of sex, they curled up, enjoying the silence and the sense of easy intimacy they’d earned. They both seemed to sense there were a lot of things they still had to talk about, but neither of them were willing to take that step just yet. For now, it was just enough to be close to one another, enough to just enjoy the raw physicality of one another’s presence.
Finally, though, Luke’s stomach started growling, and he knew he was going to have to get out of bed or else it was going to start devouring itself.
“Would you like some breakfast?” he asked.
“I thought you’d never ask,” Mikey said, kissing his hand. “You really are the best boyfriend.”
His eyes flew wide as the words left his mouth, and Luke almost laughed at how panicked he looked just then. He could have given Mikey all kinds of grief over the fact he’d been thefirst to admit the two of them were dating but, instead, he leaned forward and kissed him again.
“I know I am,” he said. “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”
And, before Mikey could respond, Luke threw on a pair of pajama pants and went off to the kitchen to make sure Mikey had the breakfast he deserved.
The shadow of the word “boyfriend”hung over the both of them throughout breakfast. They were both aware of what had been said but neither of them were willing (or able) to talk about it, to bring it out into the open. Luke was totally fine with what had happened, but it was clear Mikey was still chewing it over.
“So,” he said at last, clearly tired of sitting there in an awkward silence with the question unanswered in the back of their minds. “Are we going to talk about the fact we’re kinda sorta boyfriends now?”
