But, as always, it’s just easier to do what Damian says, so Mikey does.
And then the news moves on, Luke goes into exile, and Mikey returns to his everyday life, sans the wine. He’s sworn off the stuff for good.
He can’t get Luke out of his mind, though, and when he has his own coming-out experience—which, fortunately, goes much more smoothly, thanks in no small part to a well-timed (and fast-tracked) memoir, as well Damian’s machinations and his skill at manipulating the press into doing and saying exactly what he wants–he can’t help but wish the same had happened for him. In fact, some part of Mikey wonders if he didn’t come out as a form of atonement for what happened to Luke, as fucked up as that sounds.
Through it all, Damian is there, always hovering, always acting like he has Mikey’s best interests at heart. Mikey senses something has changed between them, though.
I’ll get to the bottom of it,he thinks.One of these days.
Life has a way of getting in the way, though, and soon he’s falling into the same old rhythms as before. In the back of his mind, though, he starts to think.
What if I could be free of Damian.
What if?
At the same time, he also starts thinking about what it would be like to see Luke up close again. He even dares to think about what it would be like to reconnect, if not romantically, then maybe just as friends. He tries not to think about it too much, but as the months go by, he knows, somehow, he needs to get Luke back in his life.
The question is: how?
CHAPTER 25
LUKE—2015
Luke was on top of the world. Seeing the look on Mikey’s face as he took in the valley below was…well, it was sort of sublime, really. He hadn’t realized until just then how much he was really craving the chance to share this part of his world with someone else.
“I love you.”
He almost rushed to take the words back, almost told Mikey he didn’t mean it, or he didn’t have to say it back if he didn’t want to. Instead, he did what his therapist would have told him to do and just sat with the uncertainty of how they would be received.
Mikey, however, squeezed his hand, and he thought for sure he was going to have a heart attack right on the spot.
“I love you, too, Luke Carter,” he said. “I’ve been wanting to say it to you for a very long time, and I don’t think I ever really stopped loving you. I’m just glad I’ve grown up enough to actually deserve you.”
Luke didn’t know which part of the statement was the best: whether it was Mikey actually telling him he loved him or whether it was saying he was now worthy of him. Mikey was right, though. He did deserve Luke. In fact, they deserved each other.
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Luke said. “I think we’ve both grown enough to be worthy of each other, and I think it’s pretty damn special.”
Reba chuffed from beneath him, and Loretta followed suit.
“I think they’re gettin’ impatient to leave,” Luke said, but Mikey just shook his head.
“Is it okay if we just stay here for a few more minutes?”
“Of course,” Luke said.
Without waiting, Mikey swung down off of Loretta, and Luke followed suit, taking the chance to admire just how beautiful Mikey was when he moved. He’d been very surprised he was able to ride well–in fact, he was shocked he was able to ride at all–but he was learning Mikey Smiles was full of many surprises.
“Um…,” he said into the silence, “I kind of want to kiss you again.”
“Well?” Mikey asked. “What’s stopping you?
As he leaned in to give Mikey what he was determined was going to be the best kiss of his life, he was struck by the image of two trees growing together in the middle of a wood. He thought again of “A Guy to Build a Life With,” and he was more convinced than that it was the perfect title.
Meanwhile, Mikey started to kiss his way down his neck, even as his hand was also doing some exploring.
“Do you wanna go back to the house?” Luke asked, followed by. “Um…do you wanna…you know…do it?”
Mikey chuckled against his neck, but it wasn’t a mocking laugh. Instead, it was a comforting sort of laugh, the kind of laugh someone might make when they’re not really sure what to make of the person they’re with but nevertheless love them with all their heart.
