He forced himself to think about all of the things about Mikey Smiles he didn’t like and which had already annoyed him today: the way he walked through the world like he owned it; the way he acted like everything was going to turn out okay just because he wanted it to; the way he seemed like nothing at all bothered him, like he hadn’t broken Luke’s heart and ignored him for a decade.
If he kept dwelling on the things he didn’t like, he was pretty sure he could keep his dangerous romantic feelings at bay long enough to get through the concert. Or at the very least their meet-up at Bob’s lunch.
However, in the back of his mind he knew things weren’t going to be so simple.
With Mikey Smiles, they never were.
CHAPTER 6
LUKE—2005
Two weeks pass, and Luke and Mikey continue to grow closer. They enjoy their time indoors out of the summer heat–where they go to vocal lessons, most of which are taught by Brenda–but they also like walking the streets of Moundsville. They’re familiar to Luke, of course, but since Mikey’s new in town he hardly knows any of them, and Luke likes showing off all of his favorite places in town.
The day is a bright summer day of the kind only West Virginia can create, the sky a blue so bright it almost hurts, and there’s a slight breeze blowing in off the river. The clean scents of flowers and fresh-mown grass are in the air, and Luke takes a deep breath, savoring this slice of perfect summer beauty.
Given just how warm it is, they’re both in T-shirts and jeans, sneakers and boots, just two West Virginia boys wandering around, enjoying the day.
Before he can think about it Luke slips his hand into Mikey’s, and the warmth of his skin sends a jolt through him. He realizes at once what he’s done and jerks it back, blood rushing into his face.
Stupid Luke,he thinks.Stupid stupid stupid. Why did you think that was okay to do? Just because he put his leg against yours a couple times doesn’t mean he feels anything for you!
He can’t even bring himself to look at Mikey, and so instead he just looks into the distance.
“Hey,” Mikey says. Luke prepares for the “I like you but not in that way” speech, but Mikey surprises him.
“Follow me,” he says. “There’s something I wanna show you.”
Luke has absolutely no idea what to expect, but he’s too perplexed by the whole situation to do anything other than follow where Mikey leads.
As it turns out, he’s just taking him to a little out-of-the-way park, which Luke has passed many times but never really explored. There’s not much to it: just a few benches, some flowers, and a little path that winds around the edge. There’s also a little gazebo tucked into one corner, which is precisely where Mikey leads him.
Luke’s palms are sweaty, his heart is rabbiting in his chest, and he isn’t sure whether he’s dreading or yearning for what comes next.
As soon as they’re in the gazebo–and shielded from prying eyes–Mikey takes his hand back in his and, before Luke can say or do anything else, brings it to his lips and plants a gentle kiss there.
Luke freezes, and even though he sees a look of panic on Mikey’s face he still can’t say anything. When Mikey starts to pull his hand away he finally finds his voice.
“I…I really enjoyed that,” he blurts out. “And…I…I wouldn’t mind kissing you on the lips.”
Mikey laughs, but not in a cruel way, and before Luke can say or do anything else he’s stepping closer, wrapping an arm around Luke’s neck, and pulling him in for a full-on kiss.
Luke has kissed girls before, and one time when he’d made out with his friend Dan after a football game when the two of them were both drunk, but none of those experiences were anything like this. Mikey kisses like it was what he was born to do. It’s intense and yet tender, too. It’s like nothing Luke has ever experienced.
It takes Luke a few seconds to get the hang of it, but when he does he starts kissing Mikey back with just as much intensity. He breathes deeply, taking in Mikey’s cologne and the faint tang of sweat. He keeps kissing until, at last, Mikey gently starts to pull away.
“Umm…just so you know, I’m not gay,” Mikey says at last, and something inside of him deflates. He also feels incredibly stupid, because how could he have ever thought this was anything close to serious?
Mikey immediately rushes to clarify.
“I’m not sure I’m straight, either,” he says. “I’ve always just…liked guys and girls both. I don’t know. Maybe I’m bisexual?”
A bit of light flashes on his face, and Luke wonders if this is the first time it’s occurred to him that he doesn’t have to be either gay or straight. He almost leans in for another kiss, but he holds back. He doesn’t want to get rejected again. Better to leave the ball in Mikey’s court, see what he does or says next.
When Mikey doesn’t do or say anything, though, Luke decides to take the plunge and tell him the thing he hasn’t dared to tell anyone else yet. Not his parents, not his brothers, not even his aunt, who he tells everything.
“I’m…I’m gay,” he says, the words slipping so easily off his tongue. He braces for rejection, but Mikey just smiles and takes his hand back.
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being gay. I think you’re adorable, whatever you are.”
