Frederick Morton now had the living at Clayton Parish. Should she return home, she would have to see him every week. How could she bear it? There was no hope of happiness there.
But, to stay here seemed equally as dreadful. Would her anger toward Dorothea abate? Could they ever be as close as they once were? It seemed unlikely. Not to mention the possibility of running into Mr. Robert Morton and his elegant new wife. Another hateful man who had wanted her just for her money.
As for the two suitors so eager to renew their addresses to her…well, if she accepted either of them, they would take her away to a whole new life, away from Haverstone and Clayton House. But, Charlotte now knew that her large dowry was common knowledge, so how could she hope to believe they truly cared for her, despite Dorothea’s confidence? She might end up tying herself to a man wholly unsuitable—and for the rest of her life. Could she find happiness in a shallow marriage and make do with good works and motherhood? Possibly.
She clenched her fists and pounded them in her lap. She had no idea what course of action to take. If only shecouldrun off and become a pirate as she had joked the other day. After considering matters for a while, she concluded that she must stay at Haverstone, but refuse to see any gentlemen callers. Perhaps she could spend most of her time with her niece. At least then she would feel she was of some use.
After another hour of pacing, she determined there was one thing she must do, and at once. She went to her desk, pulled out a sheet of paper, found a sharp pen, and began.
Dear Mr. Morton,
When I agreed to your kind proposal of marriage, I thought myself in a rational state of mind. However, I must inform you that this brief time away from you has cleared my thoughts, and I am now of the opinion that I erred greatly in my acceptance of your offer. Forgive my bluntness, but I shall not disguise my sentiments: I do not find myself in love with you and therefore must retract my earlier words of acceptance and decline to become your wife. My experiences with both you and your brother have fully convinced me that I am not of a mind to ever marry and now vow to remain single the entirety of my life.
Pray, do not seek me out or importune me further. On this subject I shall be implacable in my resolve. I shall remain at Haverstone for the foreseeable future and be of what use I may to my sister’s family. In time, I may return to Clayton House, where, I hope we shall meetsolely as friendly acquaintances.
I thank you for the honor of your offer, but I am unable to accept.
Yours sincerely,
Charlotte Kendall
She sealed the letter, wrote the direction on the front, and crept downstairs to leave it in the basket in the front hall. Then, she returned to her room where at long last she fell into a fitful sleep.
Chapter Forty-Three
My dear Charlotte,
After a very long and heartfelt conversation with the reverend Mr. Morton, I confess myself extremely troubled and confused. When last you and I were together, you were in a state of such happy anticipation, knowing you would marry Mr. Frederick Morton. Now, I hear you have retracted your acceptance of his offer and refused him. I am at a loss to perceive the reason behind your act.
I only wish you to be happy and I feel marriage to Mr. Morton would make you so. To own the truth—it is why I made the offer of the living at Clayton House to him in the first place. In our talks during my convalescence, I strongly sensed your approbation and admiration of him. Your mutual love of books, art, and music made the two of you, to my mind, a very good match. And yet, you have written him to end your engagement with no clear explanation.
Mr. Morton is as confused as I am as to why he has lost your good opinion, and his sorrow over your letter is very genuine. He came to me not to beg my assistance in changing your mind but simply to seek clarification of your rejection, since you did not give him the reason for your refusal. Sadly, I was unable to enlighten him in any manner.
Pray, write at once and let me know of the true reason for your change of heart. If you have discovered some aspect of Mr. Morton’s character that would warrant your actions I must be privy to it since he is now our rector. If I must speak to the Bishop about replacing him, I beg you to advise me at once. Please come home so that we maydiscuss it in person.
I remain,
Your devoted father,
Evan Kendall
Dear Father,
My heart is so heavy. Not just with knowing I have disappointed you, my sisters, and brother in changing my mind toward Mr. Morton but also in realizing how deceived we all were in his character.
I write this next part sadly, for you are unaware of the action taken by Dorothea and Reginald that is at the heart of all of this. Be not alarmed—they have done nothing illegal—but I recently learned they decided on their own to add a great deal of money to my £1000 dowry in order to make me a more attractive prospect for marriage. Not only did they not inform you of this, but they also did not reveal it to me. As a result, while I initially believed several gentlemen who paid their addresses to me did so because they held a sincere admiration for me, in truth, they only had their eyes on the money.
Not knowing of my larger dowry made me vulnerable to the expressions of love from Mr. Robert Morton who, it is now discovered, needed money desperately to save Brentwood estate. And, it is clear to me that his brother, Mr. Frederick, can be no less guilty of wanting me not for myself but for the income that would make his life one of ease and comfort.
This is why I must refuse him. As you know, I was not eager to marry at all when you sent me to Haverstone but, out of respect to my sister’s efforts and to be an obedient daughter, I tried my best. I foolishly believed myself to be in love. To learn now that it was all under false pretenses is a heartache I shall carry with me always.
I shall remain at Haverstone for the present.
Your loving daughter,
Charlotte
Dear Charlotte,
