Hope flared but she dared not nurture it.
“There is?” Bridget asked from the bed, clearly as confused as Eleanor.
Lydia rolled her eyes. “Really, the two of you are shockingly ignorant of your own potential. You should attend more lectures with me. It is time for you both to break free of society’s limiting expectations.” She looked back to Eleanor.
“You need to ask yourself what you really want, cuz. Do you really want to spend your life splitting your year between some country estate and a London townhouse? Do you see yourself sitting in a parlorsipping tea and entertaining guests you don’t even like just to keep up appearances?”
Eleanor cringed at the way her cousin described exactly what she was expected to do with her life.
“What else is there?” she whispered in dejection.
“Hell’s teeth!” Lydia exclaimed in disgust. “You do realize that you are capable of doing anything a man might choose to do. Just because society deems it inappropriate does not mean it isimpossible.”
Eleanor really did feel like an idiot in that moment. She felt like the answer was right in front of her and yet she still couldn’t see it.
Lydia sighed. “You would never expect Phin to just stay at home when he would rather be exploring the world. So…why do you expect yourself to do it?”
Realization dawned like a bolt of lightning. Eleanor’s eyes widened enough to try the rest of her tears. “Holy hell,” she whispered, glancing to Bridget who’d lifted her hand to her throat and was staring at them with wide eyes. “Lydia’s a bloody genius.”
Bridget laughed. “No.We’rejust dolts.”
Eleanor choked on a sob that turned into a laugh.
“You are what our narrow world has made you,” Lydia replied graciously. “But you have plenty of time to remake yourselves in your own image. Now, shall we ready ourselves for the ball? I believe Viscount Waring was on the guestlist.”
Excitement bloomed in Eleanor’s chest before she realized there was a good chance he wouldn’t be there. No doubt, he was already planning his next adventure.
“He’ll be there. He won’t be able to stay away,” Bridget assured with a wink before tapping her temple with one slim finger. “Hungry eyes, remember. The man can’t live without you.”
Eleanor hoped it was true, because she knew she had no desire to live any kind of life without him.
Chapter Forty
Phin entered theballroom with a heavy weight pressing against his chest. Just there, where his heart pounded a furious rhythm, as though fiercely trying to escape the cage of his ribs.
Of all the dangerous situations he’d boldly—jauntily, even—walked into with a swagger and a grin, this was by far the most terrifying. The stakes were higher than ever. He’d either leave here tonight a broken man…or he’d be honored with the greatest treasure a man could ever dream of.
He saw her almost immediately.
She stood out like a beacon of beauty and grace and strength. A storybook princess. The fairest of them all.
She was simply breathtaking. Heart-stopping. He would be grateful if she let him kiss her dainty toes.
Even as an unbidden rush of lust claimed him at the thought of pressing his lips to her delicate arch, he recalled words she had once spoken in a soft plea.Don’t put me on a pedestal. I always fall.
She deserved to be only and everything that she was. A woman of courage and passion and needs and hopes. He wanted to be there—at her side—as she sought her greatest accomplishments and discovered the secrets of life and the world and herself. He wanted to share each and every one of those moments with her and would surely hate himself if he missed a single one.
She was the adventure of a lifetime and he was utterly obsessed.
As her gaze started to flicker toward him, Phin ducked into a nearby crowd. He didn’t want her to see him. Not yet. Not while her cousins flanked her like generals and her brother stood sentry behind her. He didn’t want to approach her with all the trappings of the society neither of them fit into. He wanted nothing between them—no niceties, no refined manners, no expectations.
Skirting the edges of the ballroom, he kept an eye on her. He hated that she never left the wall. Even as Miss Martindale was soon asked to the dance floor and Lady Lydia eventually wandered off and then the marquess also took to the dance floor, Eleanor remained as she was. Head held high, gaze proud. Doing all she could to conceal her discomfort.
But he could see it. And he remembered how she’d trembled that very first night in the refreshment room.
He also remembered how she faced down an intruder in her garden with the man’s dropped scythe.
It took a little while before he was able to find a footman in the crush of guests. But he finally managed to get a slip of paper to write a quick note, which he instructed the servant to deliver carefully and directly.
