“Yes,” Kaelen says.
“More chances to get Soli killed,” Trick says quietly, but his eyes burn. “If you had any decency at all, you’d set her free.”
“Iamfree,” I say, exasperated at having to revisit this subject yet again.Men and their posturing, I think with an internal eye roll. “I am free, and I choose this. Please consider the subject closed.”
With that, I leave the room to find the maid from earlier and give her probably the hugest tip she’s ever had. Then she shows me to my assigned room, babbling out her thanks until I smile and escape inside. Younkin described the space fairly as “snug,” since it isn’t much bigger than the bed and chest of drawers that fit inside. Snug, maybe, but more of a room than I’ve ever had to myself, so I’m content.
For a long time, I sit on the tiny window seat and stare out at the town, trying hard not to think about Elianna’s magic, Trick’s overprotectiveness, Kaelen’s … everything … or even the goddess, the amulet, and the keys. Instead, I focus on how amazing it is that I have my own room. And a window through which I can watch the sun dropping behind the world to begin her night-veiled slumber, painting shades of my favorite wine-dark purples—exactly the shade of Kaelen’s eyes—across the sky.
I wonder what it would be like to see the stars dancing their way through the darkness but dismiss the thought as frivolous. Time enough to think of stars when the goddess of nature and balancehas been restored.
The journey so far has brought danger and terror interspersed with moments of unbelievable sensation, like when Kaelen kissed me. Even on the ordinary days, when we rode along, seeing nothing but fields and trees, I was tense with worry about what might jump out at us from behind every tree. Anxious about how I could live up to the crushing burden of carrying Altarra’s hopes on this impossible quest.
All but sure I’d fail. That I wasn’t good enough for any of it.
But here—now—I finally start to believe, in a tiny corner of my soul, that I might be.
Might be good enough.
Strong enough.
Just … enough.
I try to force myself to sleep, but it’s impossible. After an hour of tossing and turning, despite the comfortable bed and my first time wearing the nightgown since Pallanhold, I hear the strains of music from outside and decide to wander through town a bit.
All on my own, after so long surrounded by so many companions.
I throw on clothes and head down. When I reach the common room, only a few townspeople are there, drinking, playing Spires, and talking quietly. The innkeeper looks up from polishing the long wooden bar and smiles at me.
“Can’t sleep?”
“Not really,” I confess. “I thought I might take a walk.”
He pours amber liquid from a jug and beckons me over. “Best apple cider in Khyrrus. Take a cup with you.”
I reach in my pocket for a coin, but he waves it away. “On the house, young lady. A Harvest Fest treat.”
“Thank you so much! I love apple cider.” I take a sip and sigh with delight. “It tastes like cinnamon and fall and happiness.”
Thanking him again, I take my cup and slip out the front door. The streets are mostly empty, but a few oil lamps give off enough light that I can see. I think about visiting Cloud, but I don’t want to disturb the horses’ rest. They went through a horrible ordeal, too.
I can still hear the music but decide to walk in the opposite direction.I’m not in the mood to put on a cheerful face for townspeople who would not—couldnot—understand what I’ve endured.
I drain my cup, then put it on a bench by the door to retrieve on my way back inside. Before I can take the first step, though, a figure shrouded in darkness strides around the side of the building.
I gasp, but before I can shove the door open to escape into the inn, I hear Kaelen’s voice.
“It’s me.”
Closing my eyes, I blow out a breath, trying to shake off the panic that shot through me at what my mind told me must be one of the Zhagarn.
“Soli?”
“I thought—” I stop. I don’t want him to think I jump at every shadow.
But when he reaches me, I can see by the lamplight that he knows. “I’m sorry. I was checking on the horses. I guess you can’t sleep, either?”
“Are they okay?”
