She shrugs. “You might save some for me, or I’ll order more. Now, quiet.”
There is enough food for a half-dozen people, so I won’t have a problem saving some for her. The bounty is so superior to any I’m allowed at the library that I take a moment just to savor the scents wafting from the tray before diving in. The beef roast is so tender it melts in my mouth; the salad of greens with a tangy oil-and-herb dressing is delicious. I even sample two tiny lemon cakes and a small jam pie before I have to admit defeat, my belly protesting the huge amount of rich food after years of subsistence provisions.
Part of me keeps trying to put down my fork, guilty over being alive to eat all this food when Lil is not. But the pragmatic side that helped me survive the library tells me to eat while I can. Who knows what awful thing might happen next?
When I’m finally full, it’s difficult to remain silent and not ask any of the dozens of questions crowding my mind. The sorcerer is crushing herbs and lighting candles and murmuring spells over a small piece of metal, and I’m afraid to distract her at a critical point. When she finally holds it up, I see that it’s a silver locket on a sturdy silver chain. The locket itself is wider and thicker than any I’ve seen before, but this one is designed to hold the jeweled amulet, not a miniature portrait.
“Theoretically, this should protect anyone who comes into contact with you. I believe you’re safe, but if someone touches you and the amulet sets them on fire, would you burn with them? There’s no way to know,” she says absently, turning the locket over and over in her long, graceful fingers.
It takes me two tries to get any words out. Shock and disbelief combine to form an obstruction in my throat. Finally, I manage: “Youbelieve?Theoretically?There’s no way toknow?”
Her level gaze meets mine. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll test this on myself.”
“Oh, yes. I feel so much better knowing we might burn to death, but at least we’ll betogether.”
Her eyes flare with golden fire, and I find myself curling up into the mental cage that has trapped me for so long. The space that kept me timid and cautious, rather than bold.
The darkness weighs heavy inside this cage, but it’s safe.
It’ssafe.
And safety is always most valuable to those who’ve never had it.
I remember, vaguely, feeling safe with my mother. Or is it just hope turned into memory? But not since then.
Never since then.
Now, watching the sorcerer, all I can think is:Who do I think I am?
I bow my head, the weight of nearly two decades as a nobody crushing my temporary courage. “I’m sorry, Lady Elianna. Please forgive my impertinence.”
She inhales sharply. When I dare to look up, she’s glaring at me.
I hunch in my seat, making myself smaller. It’s one of my most-used skills—one of my most useful defenses. When the world tells you again and again that you’re nothing, it’s far too easy to shrink yourself into the size and space of their beliefs.
“Stop that right now!” Her sharp words bite into my self-recrimination.
“What? I beg your pardon—”
“That! Stop that.” She slams the locket down on the table and shoves her hand through her hair, dislodging the diadem, which she tosses carelessly on a table. “The world tries hard enough to make women small. Don’t help it do so.”
“I—”
“You’re no longer an indentured servant, Soli. The king ordered your indenture terminated. I’ve asked him to give you the papers. Please start now as you mean to go on—as a hero of Altarra. Not as a cowering mouse at the mercy of a Valourian snow leopard.”
“I … What? My papers? I’m to be free?” I start shaking but force myself to push any hope away. The Sister Superior taunted me periodically over the years with the promise of freedom, only to withdraw it at the last possible second, again and again. This is probably another lie, and I can’t afford to distract myself with it now.
I draw strength from the thought of both the giant snow leopards and the friend who gave one to me.
He cannot be dead. He cannot.
“I am no mouse, Air Touched,” I growl, surprising both of us, and the sorcerer nods, smiling.
“You are not. Now, let’s test the efficacy of my spellcraft.”
She hands me the locket. It’s beautiful, or would be if it were only jewelry. I take a deep breath, pull the amulet from beneath my bodice and off the cord, and carefully fit it into the locket.
“There.” She points at a tiny clasp on the side. “That will do.”
