Bern,caught mid-yawn, hastily mutters his agreement.
“And I’ll take second watch with whoever wants to stand it with me,” I say firmly. I’ve had enough of being coddled, amulet or no amulet. I’m ready for an argument, but Kaelen only nods and dismounts.
After taking care of my horse, I try to summon interest in food for myself but can’t. Instead, I roll out my sleeping mat near the fire, curl up in the spare cloak I’ve been using since Merrion, and close my eyes. The next thing I know, Kaelen is gently shaking my shoulder.
“Soli, it’s our turn for watch.”
I blink up at him. “What?”
“It’s been four hours. Andras and Chitai refuse to sleep. They’re going to scout closer to the temple, since they’re probably the stealthiest of us all. Bern and Sergeant Neville need to get some rest. Trick and Elianna are already awake and guarding the path behind us, and you and I will take the path forward, in case anyone gets past Andras and Chitai.”
That would only happen if the two of them were dead, but I can’t think bleak thoughts or I’ll never have the courage to move forward.
He holds out a hand. I let him pull me up but step back when he tries to put his arms around me, pretending I don’t see the flash of hurt that passes behind his eyes.
No matter what happened between us, I can’t let myself come to rely on support or comfort from this man. This prince.
If he can take Valourian back when this is all over, Kaelen will be a king.
And I’m still a servant. Indentured no longer, but a servant all the same.
“Need some water. Or tea.” I stumble toward the pot hanging over the fire and fix a mug, then gulp it down. I wrap a piece of meat in a hunk of bread and follow Kaelen to a log resting near the edge of the road. I sit, exhaustion weighing down my steps to the point I think it may have been better not to sleep at all.
We sit in silence while I finish my meal and for a while after. I suddenly feel shy and awkward around him again, which I don’t understand after everything we’ve been through.
Kaelenblows out a breath. “It’s better if we—”
I know what’s coming, so I jump in first. “Keep it casual? Don’t get attached? Just have sex with no expectation or commitment?”
When I look at him, his eyes have narrowed to slits. “Casual?”
I shrug, pretending pain isn’t sharpening its blades in my chest. “What? I hear the stable hands talk. I know how it goes. No problem.”
“No problem?No problem?” he grinds out from between clenched teeth.
“I don’t want to talk about my feelings right now, if you don’t mind.” I jump up and start pacing. “Look. I know we had … a moment.”
“A moment?”
“Quit repeating what I’m saying to you! Yes, a moment. But it’s clear that the attraction between us is a reaction to the intensity of the mission, and the danger, and—”
He slowly uncoils to his feet and stalks toward me. “It’s clear, is it?”
I take a step back. “Yes. A … a momentary lapse in good judgment.”
“Oh,” he says, his voice silken menace. “I’m a lapse in good judgment, am I?”
I take another step back, but he keeps advancing.
“It’s fine. We have this mission, and then you’ll rule Valourian, and I’ll … um … I’ll study to become a librarian. Maybe even in Valourian! So once in a while, I’ll wave to you when you ride past the library, and—”
He catches my shoulders in his hands before I can retreat any farther. “I’m alapse. A lapse you’ll be happy to wave to on the rare occasion I ride past your library. Am I understanding this correctly?”
“I—”
“Lapsethis,” he growls, then yanks me to him, taking my mouth with barely controlled ferocity.
Suddenly, nothing is clear, and I can’t remember what the wordlapseeven means, and I want to climb up his hard, powerful body like a Pyrrhan cat on a pine tree. His kisses take me drowning deep—to the memories of that bed in Merrion where the entire universe narrowed down to Kaelen and me. Not the prince and the servant, just a man anda woman who wanted nothing more than each other.
