A group of teenage stellymn and ausserknoch boys came traipsing out of a local antique shop, full of giggles and guffaws. As they passed us, I heard one of them say, “Hey, isn’t that Alistair Finn?” but they kept walking. I could feel their eyeballs trailing me, but Van and I kept our pace, the local movie theater coming into clearer view.
Once we were more or less alone again, Van cleared his throat, already priming me for an uncomfortable topic change. I’d noticed it was a tell of his. He always tended to clear his throat right before bringing up a less than savory subject.
“Speaking of things you might not be comfortable with,” There it was, the preamble of all preambles. But I stayed silent and let him speak. “I know we haven’t really talked about it much, and we’ve been, uh, otherwise occupied.” I could feel the burning blush decorating my cheeks at his mention, knowing that he was talking about the countless times we’d swapped fluids over the past few weeks. “How are you feeling, really, about me being an Orb?”
“It doesn’t bother me at all, Van.” And that was the most honest truth I’d ever delivered to him. I truly didn’t care that he was an Orb. Most times, I forgot he was one, because he was perpetually wearing his human illusion. “I acknowledge that you’re an Orb, of course, but I don’t have any secretly harbored feelings about it. I like you just the way you are.”
It was Van’s turn to blush then, a smile slinging the side of his lips higher on his face. I loved seeing Van smile. His megawatt grin was comforting and warm, simple and effective. The joy on his face just made my insides churn with…well, I wasn’t sure. Actually, I was, but I still buried it.
Truth? I was falling for Van. In a serious way that scared me. How could I not fall for him? He was charming, kind, so sweet and so gentle with me. And that wasn’t even counting for how dominate and fucking sexy he was in the bedroom. Van was exactly the kind of guy I’d always been looking for. Once upon a time, I’d thought that Reed was what I’d been looking for. But both of us were too damaged to repair each other and things had just naturally come to an end. I was worried that if I told Van how I’d been feeling, that the same thing would happen. And it would be ten times as messy with Van, because he worked for me. I’d have to find another security guard, all while dealing with the loss of not having him around anymore.
I couldn’t do that, to either of us. So I did what I was best at. I buried the scary feelings until they didn’t feel so scary anymore.I wasn’t sure when that was going to be, but no way in hell was I going to jeopardize the vibes right now. Certainly not right before my three hometown shows.
“I appreciate that.” Van’s voice was deeper than usual, somehow more genuine. “I know that, technically, this human illusion isn’t therealme, but in a way, it is. I haven’t been in my natural form in decades.”
My head tilted again. “Can I ask…do you think I’ll ever get to see this infamous olatsma form of yours?”
Van tensed, in a big way. His shoulders attempted to meet in the middle on either side of his body, making his entire board frame look misshapen and out of place. As if he were trying to politely implode in on himself.
Reaching out, I grabbed his bicep from where it swung uncomfortably by his side and gave it a single squeeze. “Van, you don’t have to. I was just curious.”
Clearing his throat again, Van rolled his shoulders, trying to ease the tension he’d allowed to build. I let go of his arm and waited for him to speak as we kept walking.
“I’m not sure, Alistair.” Van looked into my eyes, wanting to deliver the answer as directly as possible. “I don’t think there’s any record of an olatsma’s true form being documented.”
“I understand.” But really, I didn’t understand as much as I wanted him to think. I wasn’t going to record him changing into his true form, I just wanted to know what he looked like when he wasn’t utilizing his olatsma gift.
That was the thing about falling for someone. You wanted to know everything about them. I wanted to know every aspect of Van. The good, the bad, the uncomfortable. Including what he really looked like. I had to adjust my wants, though. If Van himself hadn’t seen his true form in decades, then how was I expecting for him to show me after only knowing me a couple months?
Disrupting the awkwardness that could have built around us from that conversation, we managed to walk right up to the movie theater, my soul soaring after seeing it again for the first time in forever.
“Here it is!” I said excitedly, looking at the marquee and seeing that they were playingThe Nightmare Before Christmasthis week, despite it being completely out of season. Had to love Phoebe’s commitment to keeping it spooky year-round. “I used to love this place.”
Whether or not Van thought it was normal or eccentric to be freaking out over a small town movie theater, he didn’t let it appear on his face. He just gave me a warm grin and a nod. “It looks great. I love the spiderweb molding around these pillars.”
I nodded, appreciating the spooky architecture of the theater. Staring at this place that had once been a frequented place by teenage Kit and teenage Alistair, I just felt right standing outside of it. Being here with Van only sweetened the feeling, making me wish that we were more than friends with benefits. Could friends with benefits see a movie together?
“You think we could get away with trying to see the movie?” I asked, trying not to let on how badly I wanted Van to agree by keeping my tone as even as possible.
“You really want to give Priyanka a heart attack, don’t you?” He chuckled. “What about the crowd?”
“I think we can manage it. No one’s swarmed us yet, right?”
Watching, his face seemed to be mulling the options over and over. I didn’t think anyone inside would give us any trouble if we attempted to see the movie. But even if they did, I was with my bodyguard, so I wasn’t the least bit worried. I could be myself here in Phoebe, at least more myself than I could be in Nashville.
“Alright.” Van succumbed to my whim, crossing his arms and allowing me to see the black nail polish on his nails. I never tired of seeing such a strong and beefy man consistently having hisnails painted. “But you have to call or text Priyanka and let her know what we’re doing.”
Sighing, I was already agreeing by the time I whipped out my phone. “Deal.”
I quickly tapped out a message to Priyanka, telling her where we were and what we were planning on doing next. Making sure to emphasize that Van was with me and we hadn’t had any fan encounters, I hit send before she could respond or before Van could second guess what he had agreed to. “Alright, let’s go get some concessions. It’ll tell me all I need to know about you.”
Van shook has head. “How so?” But the curly of his lips just made me want to kiss him.
“You can tell a lot about a person by what they order at the movies.” I said, like it was gospel. “Are you a strictly popcorn guy? Candy guy? Sour candy guy? The options are telling.” I smirked. “I’m thinking you’re a sour candy guy.”
Shaking his head again, Van gestured to the massive double doors of the theater. “Let’s go so I can get my Sour Patch Kids.”
“Ha!” I stated, like I’d caught him redhanded. “You’resucha sour candy guy, I knew it.”
