We started walking down the hall and to avoid overthinking like I usually did, I decided to take my own earlier suggestion. “Actually, I was thinking after everything that happened with my mother and dealing with holiday commitments that I could use a drink.”
He pried the front door of the office open for me, both of us stepping into the brisk afternoon air. We only had about an hour left of daylight, but suddenly, the entirety of Nashville felt like it was at my whim. Van’s tilted look combined with a slight squint to his deep eyes let me know he was feeling a certain way about this suggestion.
“Are you sure?” He said, leading us to the Toyota Camry that he’d ordered for us. The vehicle was a lovely cranberry shade and suddenly I had the hankering for a double vodka cran.
“Definitely.” I said again, beating him to the car and pulling my own door open. Not that I didn’t love it when he did it for me, but I could handle my own doors every once in a while. “I’m just not sure where.”
“Is there anywhere in particular you think you won’t be bothered?”
A fair question, one I still wasn’t used to. As much as I loved it when I got to interact with fans one on one, it still blew my mind that people did it. However, this was Nashville. I wasn’t the only one here who released music and then wandered around in public, and I definitely wasn’t the most famous one to do it either.
“Maybe somewhere close to Bluebird?” The cafe was infamous in the music industry, and it wasn’t too far from some cute places around the city. If there was anywhere I’d be most likely to be left alone, it was around that area of town.
Van gave me an affirmation as we both slid into the backseat of the car, with him making the short walk around the back so I could ease into the closest seat from the sidewalk. When we were both sat and had firmly shut our doors, the driver looked at both of us and asked where we were going, as an address wasn’t listed when Van had initially ordered the car.
Without looking up from his phone, Van told the driver an address rather than the name of a place, like I’d been expecting. When the driver nodded and did whatever it is they needed to do to input the address into their provided software, the vehicle started merging into oncoming traffic.
“Where are we going?” I prompted as Van let his phone disappear back into the darkness that was the pocket of his slacks. He was still donning his usual wear of a suit, not that Iwas complaining. I’d grown to learn that Van was a stickler for routine, even when it came to his attire.
“Don’t worry.” Van assured me with a warm smile. “You wanted a drink and I know just the place.”
Chapter 13
The placethat Van ended up taking us to was right down the street from Bluebird Cafe. I didn’t even catch the name before Van was ushering me inside, telling me to trust him.
Considering the fact that he was keeping his burly hand right on the small of my back, I’d follow him anywhere.
It was a nice place, full of life and energy. No one had swarmed us as we had piled out of the car and entered, and no one was bothering us as we stood and figured out where we could sit. I really wanted to blend in, so I asked Van if he minded if we sat at the bar. When he agreed, we made our way over and took our seats on the provided barstools.
Surprisingly, I hadn’t been noticed. At least not yet. Everyone was too busy burying their woes into the bottom of their chosen beverages, and I hoped it stayed that way. I wanted to let loose, just like my therapist had suggested. And there was a slew of vodka cranberries with my name on them.
The bar was dark and dimly lit, which probably helped with the fact that I was going pretty incognito. Music played softly in the background and laughter would trickle into the air every so often as conversations blended together.
I leaned back against the cushioned back of the barstool, braiding my legs together underneath the bar to get comfortable. Van looked completely at home here, giving the bartender a nod as he passed by.
“Been here before?” I asked, my smirk letting him know that I already perceived the answer before he could speak it.
“Once or twice.” He said nonchalantly, gripping his tie from underneath the collar of the white button up he wore beneath his suit jacket and loosening the tie. “It’s a nice place to just sort ofbe, you know?”
I sighed. God, that sounded nice. What did justbeinglook like, anyway? I’d been so removed from that for so long I wasn’t sure I could even attempt to fake it. But more than anything, I wanted to. I yearned to just set aside the vibrant aura of Alistair Finn and just be Alistair for one night.
The bartender coming back to us saved me from diving deeper into my thoughts. He took my order of the vodka cranberry I’d been thinking about since we’d hoped into the rideshare. I was eager to see what Van ordered, because truthfully, I didn’t know that much about him beyond what little I’d learned about his job history during his interview. Maybe tonight I’d finally get a glimpse into what made him tick. So when he ordered a tequila soda, I was already getting a vibe. A safe choice, but also one of intention. No extra sugar, high alcohol content. Van really seemed like the kind of guy who was no nonsense and knew exactly what he wanted.
We made a quick cheers and then savored the first sips of our drinks. God, that was good. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d even drank, let alone gotten drunk. I wasn’t too much of a drinker, because of my past, but I loved the occasional cocktail or glass of wine to make life a little more interesting.
The mixture of the vodka with the delicious sweetness of the cranberry juice was quenching my thirst while also making mewant more to drink. Closing my eyes, I breathed in a little easier than I had before we’d gotten here. Maybe I could do this, just exist in a space without worrying about work or what my mother was up to or anything like that.
Maybe I really could just be myself tonight.
“For what it’s worth,” Van’s velvet voice tore me from my thoughts, my eyes opening and finding his in the stool next to me. “I’m really proud of you.”
While the praise went straight to my heart and made my face flush, confusion wormed out of my pores. “For what?”
“For pushing through. I know it’s been a weird couple of days, because of that phone call.” He’d been skirting around mentioning the phone call ever since he’d witnessed my breakdown about it. I was glad he’d kept quiet about it, but him bringing it up now didn’t bother me. Maybe the alcohol was already loosening me up. “But you’ve been so focused since then. Not missing a beat at rehearsal, not losing steam. Even when you’ve had to take a call from the police about what happened, you’ve been so…strong.” He shook his head, as if he couldn’t believe the strength he believed I possessed. “It’s been really inspiring to see. I just wanted to let you know that it hasn’t gone unnoticed, in case no one else has brought it up to you.”
No one else had, but I wasn’t mad at that fact. He was right. I had been really good about just pouring myself into rehearsing for tour. I was finally getting the moves and cues down at this point, and even when I had to get an update about the still unknown whereabouts of my mother, I kept trucking along. I just hadn’t realized that anyone, least of all Van, was taking notice.
“Thank you.” I said, tears collecting at the sentiment before I banished them and refused for them to fall. I wasn’t going cry tonight, no matter what. “That means a lot, Van. I really appreciate that.”
