The blush that ran across Van’s cheeks was adorable. He cleared his throat, but smiled. Even though the comment might have made him uncomfortable, he didn’t ridicule Meredith for mentioning how attractive he was.
“Jesus, Mom.” Kit scoffed, shaking his head like a baby’s rattle, aimless and full of vigor. “Johnny was pretty cute.” A sigh fell out of my best friend’s lips, one so heavy that I thought Iheard it hit the floor before he spoke again. “Until he cheated on me, the bastard.”
Meredith ignored her son’s attempt to satiate her claim, facing me once more. “So that interview on the Night Show was just the beginning! I saw the interview on TikTok.”
“Ugh, Mom, get off TikTok.” Kit sighed from the sidelines, picking up a bowl of mashed potatoes and lifting it off the counter to, presumably, set it in its rightful place on the dining room table.
“You hush.” She rebuffed, waving a hand in her son’s direction. “Anyways, Alistair, I made the cranberry sauce you love so much.”
I set a comforting hand on her shoulder. “So I’ve heard, thank you so much.”
Kit made his way back into the room at the same time, giving Van a hand to shake. They quickly greeted one another, lighting my happiness on fire, as I got a loving look from Meredith.
“And don’t you worry about that mother of yours,” She dismissed, waving the pot holder in her hand like it was a white flag of surrender. Leaning in closer to me, underneath the noise of the others surrounding us, she added, “You don’t have to be ashamed to come home anymore.”
Her words lacerated me way more than I’d expected, certainly more than she had intended when she’d unleashed them on me. In that moment, it hit me all at once how much power I’d given my mother by letting her steer my reactions to coming back to Phoebe. Granted, I could only do so much because of the restraining order, but now that she had fled Phoebe? I needed to brush up on the wording of the protective order to make sure I was within my rights to explore the idea of moving back.
Even though it hadn’t dawned on me right away, but the thought of being able to move back to Phoebe excited me. Did Iknow how the hell I was going to continue my star on the rise from a small town in North Carolina? No. Did I understand how I was going to keep working with Blue and the label when they were comfortably stationed in Nashville? Not a chance. But for the first time in my life, I had a choice to come back home. I’d never entertained the thought of actually coming back because my mother had lived here her entire life. But she was gone.
Gone.
That word ripped a whirlpool through me. I wasn’t sure how the fuck it was going to work, but I wanted to transfigure my memories of Phoebe. This was the kind of place some people only dreamed of being from. It was the coolest place to grow up, objectively. I just needed to rewire my brain. No, more than that? I wanted to. And now that she was gone, I could do that if I so wished.
And oh how I wished.
Chapter 10
Thanksgiving dinner went by lazily,full of love and laughs and warmth and unrelenting comfort. I almost wished I could have seen the event through Van’s eyes. He didn’t know how much I cared about all these people.
Like how Aunt Cheryl continued to brag about her sweet potato casserole being better than Meredith’s, which always made the sisters buck at each other in protest. Kit’s cousins, Barry and Bertram, were twins that were indistinguishable from one another, and they liked to dress the same to confuse the family. It never worked, but it was a fun repeated gag that kept everyone light and full of laughter. Or how Uncle Pete, Cheryl’s husband and the twins’ father, demanded that someone challenge him to downing a beer the fastest. Van surprised everyone by taking him head on and fucking winning, something that Uncle Pete refused to let go of, joking that he was no longer welcome in any McKendrick household.
Hours went by, eating good food and it reminded me that just a few short months ago, this was normal to me. Being normal was something that felt so foreign to me now, and I’ll admit, I missed it. Just because that wasn’t my life anymore didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy the ride while I was on it.
Saying goodbye was an entire production, something that was another instance of normalcy. It took forever for me to convince Meredith and Clark that I was going be okay walking out of the door into the world again. I think the fact that Van was with me only sped up the process slightly, because it took less than an hour to say goodbye. Kit walked us outside, freeing us from the rest of the family and he held out his hand again to Van.
“It was great to meet you, Van.” They shook hands again, just as Van pulled out his phone and gave me a nod.
“I’ll order us a car to take us back to the sprinter place so we can head to the airport.”
“Thanks, Van.”
As soon as Van stepped away from the front door and ambled across the lawn, just out of earshot, Kit wagged his eyebrows at me.
“Bodyguard, huh?”
“Don’t start.” I chuckled, resisting the urge to wag my finger in front of his face.
Kit shrugged. “He’s cute.”
“He’s on my payroll.” I reminded him.
His shrug doubled over this time. “Doesn’t change the fact that he’s hot.”
“So is he cute or hot?”
Clutching at his chest, Kit guffawed with purpose. “Anyway,” The look in his eyes soured severely, and I wasn’t sure I liked the way he was looking back at me. “I’m sorry about what Mom said. I asked her not to bring yours up.”
Ahh, so he’d heard about the little slipped mention of my mother that Meredith had done. I wasn’t mad, so when I gave him a flippant look, it was exactly how I felt about the situation.
