“Yeah, because you ended up plugging it in on your phone, and we course-corrected; otherwise, we might be in Canada right now.”
Isabella rolls her eyes. “How was your guys’ day? Get tons of reading done?” She adds bunny ears to “reading.”
Valeria should have known that the second Alejandra and Lily were alone with their girlfriends, they’d tell them all about their chat this morning. Not that Valeria minds; it saves her the conversation, but she would have liked to threaten Clara and Isabella out of making jokes similar to the one she just made—for Camila’s sake, not hers; she’s grown painfully used to it.
“We did,” Valeria answers, narrowing her eyes at Isabella; however, she seems unfazed.
Once the girls get back, there is absolutely no time alone; they put on music, grill up some burgers, and start up a game. A game Valeria needs to be told three times how to play because she’s so intently focused on Camila and what could be swirling in her brain.
God, the girls couldn’t have picked a worse time to get back.
CHAPTER TWENTY
CAMILA
Camila has never been impatient, but right now she feels as if she could crawl out of her skin. Her palms are slick, and there’s a restless energy buzzing beneath her skin.
Of course, right as Valeria is telling her she might want to try dating, and that she wants to do that with her, of all people, their friends would burst in with all their wonderful, chaotic energy, ready to turn the forest into a club. Music blasting, drinks flowing, and everyone but Camila dancing around the fire like they’re about to cast a spell.
Me? Valeria wants to date me?Camila can’t stop thinking about that. It feels so foreign, as if she made it up, even though Valeriatold herexactlythat.
Camila was sure it would be someone from Valeria’s clinic, or someone she hadn’t heard of before, and she was going to do her damnedest to be excited for Valeria. The second she said it was her, she almost fainted—out of happiness, of course—and the sheer relief that she isn’t alone in her crush.
But the longer the night stretches on, the more Camilaquestions it all. Is Valeria saying she wants to date her because she likes her, or because she finds safety in Camila and wants to dip a toe into dating with the comfort of a friend next to her? Camila hates the thought. She shakes her head, trying to dislodge it. She and Valeria will pick up the conversation when everyone goes to bed. Valeria said as much as the girls swept her away for shots. Camila needs to be patient, but the girls arereallytesting her right now.
Nine turns into ten, and instead of winding down, the girls seem livelier than ever. Not a single one is showing signs of slipping into their tent anytime soon, so Camila does her best to stay calm, keeping her mind occupied with reading, scrolling through her phone, and drinking a little more than she usually would, trying to ease the tension in her body.
Finally, around 12:30 a.m., Valeria announces she’s going to bed and walks right up to Camila and extends her hand toward her.
“Ready?” she asks, exhaling like she’s bracing herself.
Camila looks down at her hand before taking it. She nods as she stands, heart pounding.
A round of slurred goodnights rings behind them as they walk toward their tent. Camila’s heartbeat grows stronger and louder until it’s all she can hear.
When they slip inside, Camila and Valeria sit on their cots, both facing away, neither ready to turn and continue the conversation that’s been hanging over them for the past few hours.
Camila hears movement behind her, and with one last steadying breath, she turns fully toward Valeria, knees brushing hers. The only light in the tent is from Camila’s lantern, which honestly isn’t much, but it’s enough that she can see the worry written all overValeria’s face. Immediately, Camila thinks maybe she’s going to take it all back, say that she wasn’t thinking clearly and didn’t mean any of it. Which, yeah, would suck, but she wants Valeria to be happy and to never see this look on her face again. Especially not if it’s because of her.
She reaches over to Valeria, taking her hand the way she has so many other times, and Valeria sighs, visibly relaxing.
“Talk to me,” Camila says, closing her eyes and taking a calming breath. “If you want to take it all back, I can handle it.”
“What? No, I don’t want to.” Valeria’s shoulders tense up again. “Do you want me to take it back?”
Camila shakes her head so fast the world blurs into a dizzying dance of colors. “No, not at all, you just seem so stressed. I thought ... I’m trying to give you a way out.”
“I don’t need it. I’m just in my head. I have been since the girls got back. I didn’t get to hear your thoughts. Then the girls made it almost impossible for me to step away. When they finally eased up, I got nervous about what you would say. I kept putting it off until I steadied myself.” She rubs her forehead with her fingertips. “I’m sorry, that’s not what you asked. I’m rambling.”
“You’re worried I wouldn’t want to date you?” Camila’s voice trembles with disbelief, and she almost wants to laugh. Not at Valeria, but at the idea itself because it’s so far from what she actually wants.
Valeria nods. “Yeah, I don’t know; I’m worried you’re going to say that it’s too soon for me to consider it, that I haven’t properly mourned and healed from my relationship with Brooke and need to take more time.”
An ache settles beneath Camila’s ribs. Not because she actually thinks that, but because she can see some of thedamage Brooke’s done. Valeria has been told how to feel, corrected, and reshaped for so long, she doesn’t trust herself and, in turn, doesn’t expect Camila or anyone else to, either.
“Is that how you feel?” Camila asks, cocking her head to the side, wanting to give Valeria agency over her feelings.
“No,” Valeria answers.
