“I’m not ready to go back either, honestly. I’m kind of nervous about it.”
“I’ll be right beside you when you’re there.”
“Thank you.” Valeria leans her head on Camila’s shoulder.
Camila closes her eyes, breathing deeply, savoring the weight of Valeria’s head on her. Camila’s heart begins to pound wildly. A nervous energy buzzes beneath her skin, making her fingers tingle. Something about this moment is like a neon sign, and Ella questioning Camila’s feelings for Valeria doesn’t seem silly anymore.
Suddenly, all the warmth and nerves that have become a constant around Valeria make sense. Camila doesn’t know when they started or if they’ve been there since her initial attraction to Valeria at the vet clinic, but right now, all she knows is that they’ve been steadily growing as she’s gotten to know her.
How could she have missed it? For the past four weeks, she has been around Valeria every day, cooked with her, and seen her in all of Camila’s favorite sweaters and sweats.
Suddenly, this urge to be ready to date makes sense; it makes sense why Valeria has awakened it all. It was never because she missed the feeling, but because it was almost as if she had that intimacy with Valeria.
Now that she realizes it, she can no longer ignore it. The feelings are real and intense, and she can’t help but hate that they’ve decided to show up for someone who is painfully unavailable.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
VALERIA
Tomorrow is here far too fast, and Valeria has run out of excuses not to go home. When Camila gets back from work later, she’ll drive Valeria to her apartment, and she’ll have to face the truth she’s been circling: Brooke is gone, and all her belongings, still scattered through Valeria’s apartment, will have to go, too. And the apartment will be hers again—truly hers this time. No more tucking Brooke’s things under the bathroom sink “just until they make up” or stashing Brooke’s favorite snacks in the pantry. A wave of emptiness crashes through her at the thought, leaving a hollow ache in her chest.
That’s the part she’s dreading the most. Not being alone; she’s been alone all day today while Camila’s at work, and she’s been fine—granted, Misohasbeen wonderful company. No, being alone isn’t what’s been keeping her on Camila’s couch. It’s the finality. When the last physical trace of Brooke disappears, and Valeria can no longer pretend they’re paused instead of finished. The moment that confirms they’re really done, that the breakupwas real and not something she dreamed up, is what she’s been running from.
Logically, she knows they are; she felt the switch the moment it happened. Her phone stopped blowing up with Brooke’s messages, and the anxiety that showed up every time her phone rang or pinged disappeared.
Instead, this entire month, she’s experienced an unfamiliar kind of peace—a quiet she didn’t know she was capable of holding. She knows it’s because of Camila; she’s been nothing but gentle and steady with Valeria, never asking for more than Valeria can give. And every day, she finds herself growing more fond of Camila and all the little things she does: the way she speaks, the calmness in her that eases the world around Valeria, making everything feel steady, the simple way that being near her feels like coming home—a place Valeria never knew she was searching for. With each passing day, this want to be near Camila has deepened, curling through her chest like a slow-burning ache, something Valeria is terrified of acknowledging, but it’s there all the same.
The sound of Valeria’s phone breaks her train of thought; she glances down to see Alejandra’s name on the screen.
Alejandra has been calling every day since the breakup to check in. Unfortunately, Valeria has been so busy at the clinic that she keeps missing her, and by the time she can call Alejandra back, they end up playing phone tag until one of them gives up.
“Hey,” Valeria answers.
“Hi. How are you?”
“I’m good. You?”
“Good. Just checking in on you. I haven’t heard much from you lately, and I was getting worried.”
“I know, I’m sorry, work has been hectic, but I’m okay. Thank you.” Miso looks up at Valeria from where she’s been sitting on her lap and stretches, rubbing her mouth on the side of Valeria’s phone so aggressively that she drops it.
“Sorry,” Valeria says to Alejandra as she picks up her phone from the ground. “Miso made me drop my phone.”
“Oh, you’re at work? I thought you were taking the day off.”
“No, I’m not. I’m off until tomorrow. I’m at Camila’s. Been hiding out here for a few weeks.” Something Valeria hadn’t wanted to share. She’s not sure why. Maybe she didn’t want to worry the girls any more than she already had. But since she’s leaving today, she figures there’s no harm in telling her now.
Valeria shifts the phone to her other shoulder and reaches for her mug.
“Oh,” Alejandra says, a hint of surprise in her voice. “Well, that’s one way to get over your ex.”
Mid-sip, Valeria swallows more than she means to and immediately chokes on the liquid. The hot coffee burns her throat as it goes down. She jerks forward, coughing violently, eyes watering as she slams the mug onto the coffee table.
“Oh—no, no, no,” she wheezes, hand flying to her chest, the words tumbling out between coughs.
“Hey, I’m not judging,” Alejandra says quickly. “She’s hot. If anything, I’m glad.”
Valeria shakes her head too fast, pulse thundering in her ears. “No. No, that’s—not—” Her voice comes out uneven. She drags in a breath that doesn’t quite feel like enough and scrubs her fingers through her hair. “That’s not what’s happening.”
