He didn’t acknowledge me, but I knew he heard me. His hearing was much better than mine.
I heard Henry’s voice coming from his tent as I approached, the roughness of it making me think he wasn’t fully awake yet. “Hello, Ekkar. Is it time to get up?”
I grimaced. It hadn’t been my intention to wake him just so he could play music for me. That was selfish.
“Ekkar. Leave him be,” I snapped, hovering outside the tent. Ekkar could come and go as he pleased. It irritated me that he went in without my permission, and I couldn’t go in to fetch him.
“He’s alright,” Henry called out. “Come in, Garrun.”
Ducking my head into the tent, I felt a strange tightness in my chest when I took in the view. Henry was still in the furs, hishair disheveled, and his eyes closed as he hugged Ekkar’s neck with a soft smile on his face. He seemed almost like he would go back to sleep, and Ekkar looked more than happy to stay in bed and soak in the beautiful man’s affections. I was so distracted by the pair that I hadn’t realized someone else was in the tent until a sharp intake of breath drew my attention to the other bed. The woman I’d seen before with the long hair stared up at me with wide, terrified eyes, the furs clutched to her chest protectively. My face twitched against a scowl. I hated that look.
“You can get more rest,” I grumbled to Henry. “I didn’t wish to disturb you.”
Henry hummed, then sat up, looking in my direction with a smile that made the lines around his eyes and the indents on his cheeks deepen. My heart stuttered at the look, and I found myself frozen in place, unable to walk away when he looked at me like that.
“You didn’t disturb me. I was already waking up when Ekkar came to visit. It just takes me a minute to make myself get up if I’m comfortable.” He gave Ekkar another friendly pat. “Cuddles with something warm and soft is a nice way to wake up.”
I wished I could suggest he join me in my tent instead. I ran warm and would be happy to cuddle him until he woke. The reality that someone as beautiful as Henry would never choose me was made more apparent every time I glanced in the woman’s direction and saw the fear in her eyes. Whether he could see me or not, he would not choose me. Not when everyone around him would tell him to avoid me.
“If you give me a few minutes, I’ll come out,” Henry said, oblivious to the woman’s fear or my own unhappiness. “I’m just going to get ready for the day.”
“Take as long as you wish,” I murmured. “I will be by the fire.”
This time, I didn't try to force Ekkar to come with me. I didn’t want to stay where I wasn’t welcome. I walked away without another word, silently berating myself for even thinking I could have something so perfect.
CHAPTER FIVE
HENRY
“You’re not really going somewhere alone with that barbarian, are you?” Alice demanded, her words a harsh whisper like she was trying not to be overheard.
I frowned at her as I reached for my bag, pulling it into my lap to find fresh clothing. Perhaps Garrun could show me where to wash my things. I didn’t want to have to rely on Alice all the time if I didn’t have to. I tried to be as self sufficient as possible to give her more freedom from her role as my caretaker.
“He said he’d find me a quiet place to practice my music. He’s just being kind, Alice. After this long around them, I thought you were comfortable. Did something happen?”
“No, but…” She hesitated, and my frown deepened. It wasn’t like her to sound so uncertain. She’d always been outspoken. Unless she was worried for her safety, I wasn’t sure why she’d hesitate. And she had no reason to fear Garrun. He’d been kind since I met him.
“Alice? What is it?”
With a heavy sigh, she finally explained, “That barbarian, the one you’ve been talking to, he’s… terrifying. He’s got scars on his face like he got into a fight with a bear and lost, he’s bigger than most of the barbarians I’ve met, and he’s almost always scowling. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
The way she described Garrun was so different from the man I knew, I couldn’t help making a face. “I’ve spoken to him, though. He’s just as kind as the rest of the barbarians we met during our journey. You shouldn’t judge people by their appearance, Alice. Get to know him first.”
It wasn’t often that I was in a position to chastise my older sister, but it felt wrong to me that she was judging Garrun by his looks. When he led me to the trench, he’d been gentle, and his voice was soft and kind both times we’d spoken to each other. He didn’t feel dangerous to me. If he was, wouldn’t they have warned us away?
“Well, what about his pet? It’s a wolf! How is that not dangerous?” she argued.
The pet in question growled, which only made Alice squawk louder. I put a hand on Ekkar’s head, sighing at them both. “Ekkar, be nice to Alice. Alice, don’t judge them before you get to know them. We both knew this would be an adjustment. We promised we’d keep an open mind.”
Ekkar settled under my touch, but I was a little worried that if Alice kept making comments, he’d lose his patience. I hurried to change and pull on my boots, checking my violin case to make sure it had everything I needed in it. I was standing to leave when Alice caught my arm, her sigh exasperated as she spun me to face her. “Wait. Your hair is a mess right now. Let me fix it.”
I could tell with her movements that she was still unhappy, so I caught her hand once she was done with the brush, squeezing gently to reassure her. “I promise, I’ll be alright. Iwon’t go far. He said he’d find me a place to play music without disturbing anyone. If you need me, just follow the music.”
Her huff of laughter made me smile, and when she pulled me into a hug, I hugged her back just as tightly. “Alright, fine. But only because I can tell how excited you are. I hated leaving you alone in the tent the past few days. At least playing your music, you can be happy. But I’m checking on you just like I always do. If I can’t find you, I’ll send the whole clan to search for you.”
Snickering, I bussed a kiss on her cheek and let her guide me toward the entrance of the tent flap. “I’m sure it won’t come to that. Have fun with your reading lessons. Let me know when they’ll do more speaking practice.”
Ducking out of the tent, I kept my hand on the side of it, following it in the direction I’d gone before. I realized too late that I should’ve asked Garrun to stick close. I didn’t know where to find him. I still hadn’t gotten my bearings in the clan yet, despite Alice giving me a guided tour at least three times already. The space was too large and the tents all felt the same, so it was hard to feel my way to where I wanted to go.
