“I can’t go back to the way things were,” Cole says suddenly, and I turn my head to look at him. There are spots of orange on his glasses, the beauty in front of us reflected back at me.
“Huh?” I must have used up all my eloquence last night.
“I mean —” Cole looks down, wiggling his toes into the sand. “Ezra, I love you. I love the shit out of you. I just want to follow you around all day and watch you do stuff, because you’re fucking fascinating. But I can’thide anymore. I can’t be your secret. So — yeah. That’s a thing I wanted you to know.”
“Yeah, about that.” I look back out over the waves, squinting at the lightening sky, then turn to face him once more. “I was thinking I would tell my dad today. Seth already knows, so — you know, it’s just him.”
Cole looks at me like he’s been hit on the head. Then a slow smile spreads across his face. “Really?You mean it?”
“Really.” I’m grinning too, breaking out into a laugh as he tackles me.
After all the tension, all the heartbreak, kissing him again is bliss. My hands are in his hair, guiding our lips together as he climbs into my lap, fisting the front of my hoodie. We’re both giddy, laughing into each other’s mouths, our hands grasping and caressing, and I could get lost here, except —
“Wait—” I gasp, both hands on his shoulders.
“What the fuck for?” He’s trying to catch his breath too, his eyes wild and his lips kiss-bitten.
I nod toward the horizon. “We got up early and came all the way down here, and we’re going to miss it if we keep this up.”
He smiles softly, reaching out one finger to trace the shape of my lips. Then he twists in my lap, looking over his shoulder with both arms wrapped around my neck, hugging me to his chest. And we sit reverently, watching as the sun peeks out of the surface of thewater.
It’s a sliver of a thumbnail at first, an almost impossible shade of orange, too bright to be real, the stuff of nightclub signs and dive bars. But as we watch, the wind lifting our hair, the sliver becomes a glowing orb, climbing steadily in the sky. The waves are tipped with pink, the plovers and sandpipers skittering in and out of the surf, and I know I’m going to remember this moment, this perfect slice of peace.
Finally, Cole turns back toward me with a sigh, sliding his hands up the sides of my neck and cupping my face. His fingers are cold, but I don’t care, because he’s looking at me as if I’m some precious thing, too fragile for this world.
This time, the kiss is purposeful, both of us sliding into it, as if time is standing still, as ifsomethingis slipping into place, somethingforever, somethingreal. When he finally pulls away, Cole rests our foreheads together, nuzzling against my cheek.
“Hey, Ezra?”
“Hmm?” I’m drunk on him, my hands circling his waist.
“I really,reallyneed to be indoors with you right now.” He tightens his grip on my shoulders, rolling his hips against my lap.
“Why?” I drag my lips along his cheek, planting a kiss just underneath his left ear. “I could blow you right here on the beach, if you want.”
“Tempting.” His fingers turn to claws as I suck his earlobe into my mouth, biting down gently. But then he laughs, scrambling out of my grip and climbing to his feet. “Come on, I’ll race you to the car —”
He’s already halfway up the beach by the time I get to my feet. I may not be able to catch him, but I can enjoy watching him go.
***
“Ezra— I swear to fucking Christ, there’s never been a door you’ve let me open without grabbing my ass while I’m doing it —”
“Well, maybe you could try not to look so goddamn sexy all the time —”
We stumble through the front door of Sharon’s house, giggling as we slam it behind us. All I can think about is getting my hands on Cole’s naked body, and I crowd him against the door, unzipping his hoodie as my lips find his throat. He must be thinking the same thing, because he drags mine over my head, then grabs my hair, holding me in place as I nibble his neck, his other hand tucked into my back pocket. I’m on my toes, pressing my whole body against him, and he’s already whimpering, curling around me, turning his head to mouth at my temple.
Somehow we make it into the living room, floundering across the rug, neither one of us wanting tostop kissing long enough to make any of this any easier. I spot the sofa in front of us, and I tumble Cole down onto his back across the cushions, toeing off my shoes as I fall on top of him and gather him up in my arms.
“God, I want to fuck you —” I groan, and he freezes, his eyes wide.
“Shit—”
“What?” I pull back just enough to see his face. “Did you think thatwasn’twhat we were doing?”
“Um—” He titters nervously. “It’s been a couple days since I showered and I don’t smell too great —”
I bury my head under his arm and take a deep whiff, and he shrieks with laughter, pushing me away.
