“Where are the horses?”
“We don’t have horses.”
“Where are the mounts?”
“We’re taking the subway.”
“What a stupid name for a horse. Then again, your lover’s name is Mozzarella.”
I decide that I’ll let him believe whatever he wants to believe as I start down the sidewalk toward the subway station. This area is pretty dead, so thankfully we don’t pass any pedestrians while he gazes this way and that, taking it all in. If I were a curious man, I would realize that he’s likely not from these parts—or even this realm—and possibly ask him where the hell he came from. But I am not. I’m a hungry man who missed lunch and am close to missing dinner at this point.
A hungry man who is suddenly being forcefully thrown into the gutter where Torin uses my body as a shield when a car flies on by.
“I have saved your life twice now. You will be my servant until you die from old age.”
Saved my life? From what?! “It was a car… acar.”
“You are most welcome, human. What was your name again? I will rename you. Hugh Man. Your name will be Hugh Man. Ha. I am hilarious.”
I watch as another car comes and he proceeds to hook an arm around my chest and pin my entire body against his, feet lifted off the ground while he uses me like a shield, prepared to battle the vehicle. And I’m just… a part of this and I have no damn idea why. Kit tries to comfort me by wrapping her tail around my neck.
Eyeing the car, Torin declares, “That monster has eaten a human. We should extract the body and have a proper send-off.”
“Those things? Those are our mounts,” I explain because I feel confident that if I don’t explain it soon, he’s going to start a brawl with the next car that comes cruising by. And for some reason, I’m pretty sure the car isn’t going to win. He sets me down, seemingly satisfied that the car has moved on.
“I see… they have eaten their owners. We should execute them all.”
“You rideinsidethem.”
“How morbid.”
“Yep. That’s us. Morbid.” I hurry off… which would have worked better if he wasn’t still holding on to me. I try to disentangle myself, but it’s difficult to do so since he clings on tight while warily staring at every vehicle that passes by.
Thisshouldhave forewarned me how the subway was going to go. Instead, I naively charge down the stairs, smack my card against the card reader twice, and proceed to watch Torin battle the old turnstiles that this station still uses. He kicks it, which just makes it spin once, and then suddenly his leg is caught in it and he’s tumbling through it while I simply observe… and enjoy, until he kicks it so hard the metal is now bent in the completely wrong direction.
“That thing was trying to get frisky with me.”
“That’s definitely what was happening,” I say as we head down more stairs and finally reach the subway platform. It’s at this point, when I can hear the subway coming, that I realize I should warn him. “You know the ‘mounts’ outside? Well, this is also a mount. Just a long one, alright?”
“Are we killing it?”
“No, we’re riding in it. You’re not from this realm, are you? You know what? That’s a silly question. You’re very obviously not.”
Torin grabs his shield—me—and takes up a battle stance as the subway arrives. He actually handles it better than I expected, not fearful at all… more bloodthirsty than anything. I hurry to get in but I’m connected to an immovable force.
“We have to get inside,” I tell him.
“You think I’m going to let a mere peasant talk me into climbing into the belly of that beast? Please, don’t make me laugh.We will ride on top of it.”
“That is how you get beheaded.”
I gesture toward every single other person—both human and nonhuman—clambering on in without a care in the world. Most look bored out of their minds. And then there’s us… convinced death is upon us and prepared to fight our way through it.
“It’s not living. It’s made of metal!” I explain.
“I am disappointed in you.”
What the hell did I do?
