I’m completely flabbergasted that Mickey told absolutely no one that I went through the Door that I might not have come back from or might have been murdered, especially after having been gone fordays. Literaldays.
I choke all that down. “Whatever. Can you come pick us up?”
“Right now?”
“Preferably.”
“We’re actually out right now. We wouldn’t be able to for a few hours. Does that work?”
I grimace. “Not the best. Can you connect me to Mickey?”
“Sure. I’m glad you finally got a vacation. I hope you’re more pleasant to be around than before you went in,” she says, like she doesn’t at all recognize the peril I was in… that is,ifI was in peril and wasn’t actually off having sex with some god in a giant beautiful palace.
“It wasn’t a vacation! I ran through a Door chasing after the god and ended up in another realm. I was gone for days!”
“You must have lived,” Imani unhelpfully points out.
“You are the worst friend I could possibly have asked for. Connect me to Mickey!”
“I’m not theworst, I’m just glad you’re okay. We’ll talk in a few, though, okay? I’ll call you.”
I grumble about all of that while she transfers me to Mickey.
“Hellllllllo,” a woman who is definitely not Mickey says.
“Is this Joy?” I ask.
“Itissss.”
“Is Mickey there?”
“No, he’s at home.”
“Is he sick?”
“No. He’s sleeping in.”
“It’s like four in the afternoon on a workday! Can you contact him? I need someone to come pick us up.”
“No, he gave us his phone, his badge, and even his gun, and told us to have at it.”
“Why does a medical examiner, let alone anecromancer, have a gun?” I ask.
“I don’t know, but I have it now,” she says. “I wish it was a revolver so you could hear me spinning the cylinder. I’m playing with it right now.”
“Can you come pick us up before you shoot someone?”
“No can do. I don’t have the car.AndI already shot someone earlier, but it’s okay because they were already dead.” And then she hangs up on me.
I grit my teeth as I seethe a bit before sliding the phone back through the car window. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” she says, and I assume she’s now going to realize that all of my friends suck and take pity on me and offer me a ride, but instead, she rolls up the window and zooms off.
“So when are they coming?” Torin asks.
“They’re not.”
“That’s just sad. My people would break their backs to carry my body home. And then after they snapped in two, they’d still drag me home… not that this ever happened. I merely wanted to paint you a picture of how far they’d go for me. Your own friends just ignore you.”
