“Oh, it’s nothing much,” Riley says. “I just found out that I’m a horseman, and not just any horseman but the very one who slaughtered all of Torin’s people. Lovely, yeah?”
“Could be worse,” Mickey comments.
“How?” Riley asks.
“I don’t know… you could have also like stepped in gum or something.”
Riley gives him a push to try to make him join the others, but Mickey doesn’t seem interested. “Why do you act like this isn’t even surprising?”
Mickey simply shrugs. “I don’t know. I think my body isn’t built for being overly surprised by things, so I just take in the information and go ‘Oh, interesting’ and move on. Anything more would burn far too many calories.”
“Riley, please stop acting like you’re the one who did it. You are a reincarnation of the horseman who killed them,” I say, but Riley still won’t turn to me, and I’m startled by how much that bothers me. I really just want to grab him and pull him into my arms, but I don’t want to force him.
“I’ll leave you two to talk for a minute,” Mickey says, but Riley grabs his wrist.
“No. I just…”
I stare at him, upset that he doesn’t even want to be alone with me. “Riley.”
“We’ll… we’ll talk later. We need to get you help and get things cleaned up… and what do I do with these things?” he asks as he gestures at the souls hovering around him.
“Do you think you can put them back?” Mickey asks. “Just like stuff them in.”
Riley shrugs before he carefully stands up, pulling away from me and heading down the alley. I sit and watch him go, uncertain what this pain in my body is. Am I more hurt than I thought I was? But then why is it only when Riley won’t look at me?
He disappears out of sight while I remain here, wild turmoil racing through me. Quill comes over and nuzzles against me. I press my hand against his face, knowing that simply petting him always makes me feel better, but this time, it’s as though the issue is too much. I feel like I can’t breathe, and I’m a god! I don’t evenneedto breathe!
I debate opening a Door and just going home. I’m not sure what that’ll solve, but I know how to be miserable there. I don’t know how to deal with this, and I don’t like it. I grab Quill and he pulls me to my feet as I look down the alley in the direction Riley went before realizing that I don’t want to face the pain of him turning away from me. I don’t think I can handle it anymore.
I reach out to Quill, planning on swinging onto his back, but before I can, Riley asks, “Where are you going?”
I hesitate when I hear his voice. For a long moment, I don’t know what to say, and I can’t decide whether I want to turn around and face him or keep looking away. “It’s been too long since I’ve ridden an escalator.”
“You know you’re not allowed to ride escalators without me there to laugh at you,” he says.
I turn to look at him. “I assumed…”
“Well, you assumed wrong. I just… I needed a minute. I didn’t know that you would just…” He grits his teeth. “I didn’t know you’d take that as an invitation to leave. I only…” Riley falls quiet as he bows his head. “How do I even face you, Torin? How do I even apologize? How can I even handle what I’ve done?”
I take a step toward him, but I’m so afraid that he’s going to turn around and run from me that I feel nervous. And I’m someone who rarely experiences what being nervous feels like. “You’re you, Riley. You’re not the man who did it.”
“But what if I am? What if I just don’t remember doing it? What if someday I do remember and I have to live with what I did?”
“No matter what, you’re still my Riley.”
“What if I’m a monster? How could you ever forgive me?”
“I don’t have to forgive you because you aren’t a monster and there’s nothing to forgive,” I say as I walk up to him and hesitantly reach out to him. I lift his head and pull him into my arms, feeling so much relief when he doesn’t pull away from me.
His arms wrap around me. “We need to stop that evil god. I know it won’t make up for anything that happened in your realm, but I would like to do everything I can to save this world and others he might target.”
“We’ll stop him,” I promise Riley. “I don’t know how. But we’ll stop him.”
I squeeze him closer, and finally, he melts into me. He drops his head on my shoulder, and the resistance I felt when I held him earlier is no longer there. The knot in my stomach slowly begins to loosen.
“Why were you just going to leave?” he asks. “I never wanted you to leave. I just… I was afraid you’d hate me. I was afraid that I was a monster. I just… needed a minute to think.”
“Afraid? Maybe that’s what was wrong with me,” I say.
