“Oh, how sweet and caring is Mickey. He writes, ‘Yay! You’re alive! Don’t worry. If you die, I will take care of your god for you. Kisses. XOXO I guess I could bring you back from the dead to do stuff for me LOL. I’m going back to bed. PS. I saw a lot of Torin’s dick. I approve.’”
“In his defense, he camerunningwhen he sensed something was wrong.”
Riley’s eyebrow rises. “I’m sorry, Mickeyran?”
“Yep. And he was very concerned about you.”
He still seems caught up on that first part. “Mickey…ran?”
“Sure did.”
“I was in the academy with Mickey. He never ran. We had the meanest instructor who made me run out of fear of him, and still Mickey just shrugged off all of his verbal assaults without even a flinch. I think he impressed the guy, honestly. His athletic scores were so poor that they threatened to kick him out. The only reason they kept him was that he outsmarted all of us, includingthe teachers. His cumulative score was better than everyone in class but me. I didn’t have the smarts he did, but my athletics and fighting skills got me higher.”
“You’re very smart. You know all about testicle-devouring cars and how your finger-tapper pad can show the same video of Kit doing something cute ten times but can only show the video of me riding on your back once.”
Riley just smiles at me. “Exactly. Common sense is all I need. And a gullible man.”
“Don’t know who that last one would be.”
“I don’t either,” he says as we head outside to where Quill is waiting. I discover a couple of new buds on a dead bush that I carefully touch. I’m trying not to get my hopes up that I’m gaining power, but this is a good sign, isn’t it?
Riley is too busy staring at Quill with an apprehensive expression to notice the buds. “Does this thing have a saddle or anything?”
I look at Quill and decide that I could be nice and put one on for Riley. I don’t use it much since I’m just fine riding without it, but of course I have one. It’s very handy for holding my weapons and connects to the armor Quill wears into battle. All of which I’ve kept maintained… not that I thought I’d ever use any of it again.
“Wow, I haven’t been in here,” Riley says when I lead him into the palace stables which once held the most prized stock. Not all horses, either… there were many different beasts that once called this place home. Quill never really stayed in a stall, even though I did leave a door open and bedding available for him. He enjoyed wandering… mostly into my palace where he caused mayhem wherever he went and slept wherever he felt like. I’ve found him sleeping in the hot spring, in the kitchen, and one time I even found him on the roof where he cried at me like he expected me to carry his ass down. After a very stern,“You got your ass up there, you can get your ass down,” he jumped back down onto the balcony he’d jumped up from.
“We usually need the blood of fifty-five non-virgins to fuel this, but this time I think it’ll be okay without it,” I tell Riley, who is trying not to grin.
“That’s fascinating.”
“Do not even ask what I have to feed this beast to keep him moving,” I say as I pat Quill’s neck.
“Does he eat meat? That… dragon-like head makes me feel like he’d eat meat.”
“He loves meat, but he can’t quite eat it when… there’s nothing here to eat… besides your familiar.”
“No! Not Kit,” Riley cries dramatically, squeezing Kit to himself. Kit is too busy thwacking Quill with her paw while he wiggles his nose around in response. She appears to find this thrilling. I toss a pad onto Quill’s back and then the saddle before cinching it. The breastplate made of leather and blue metal slides around his chest and tightens. I shorten the stirrups for Riley and then guide him over to Quill.
He immediately looks like he ate one of those lemons I tried eating when I first made it to his realm.
“On second thought, can we maybe… hook him to a sleigh? Like how Thor has a chariot pulled by goats.”
“That sounds like animal abuse. How’s a goat supposed to drag a god around?”
“They’re… magic goats. Hell if I know.”
I pick him up and put him on Quill’s back, and he immediately latches on to the saddle with his hands and thighs.
I give his thigh a light smack. “I might enjoy those muscular thighs squeezing me during sex, but they’re not needed here.”
“He’s going to throw me onto my face like last time. Or what if he jerks his head back and gouges out a chunk of my face with those antlers?”
“He’s only done that once to me in a thousand years.”
“So you’re saying it’s high time for it to happen again.”
“Do you want to ride behind me? But then you won’t have the saddle.”
